


Tartarum Memoriae

by Silver_Wolf13



Category: Charmed (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-01-26 18:23:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21378523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Wolf13/pseuds/Silver_Wolf13
Summary: What if, instead of Harry falling into Tartarus, it was Maggie? What will happen when her sisters and Harry are finally able to get her back? How traumatized will she be?There are spoilers for the end of 1x9 through 1x12
Relationships: Harry Greenwood & Macy Vaughn & Maggie Vera & Mel Vera, Harry Greenwood/Macy Vaughn
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know its a bit late but I only just got into the show so. And I know Hunter doesn't actually have telekinesis in the show, but he will here.
> 
> Title is latin for Gloomy Memory. It sucks i know, but i couldn't think of anything else. I'll prolly change it later. 
> 
> This is my first ever fic. Hope you enjoy it.

All he felt was rage. Rage at his brother for trying to fight his demon side, his destiny to become the Source. Rage at his brother for betraying him. And especially rage at the witch who is responsible for the betrayal. Margarita ‘Maggie' Vera. As he feels the pull of the portal to Tartarus strengthen, he casts a fierce glare at the three witches that his brother is protecting.

As he glares, an idea comes to him. He could get his revenge on Parker and the little witch who snagged his half brother's human heart. He grins. “If you're going to send me to Tartarus, Little Brother, I'll be sure to take your witch with me.” He laughs at the looks of horror on the sisters’ and the whitelighter's faces.

Using his telekinesis, he yanks Maggie Vera to him, just as the pull of the portal becomes too strong for him to fight. As they fall, Hunter feels a wave of satisfaction at the cries of horror from the four left behind. Then, all he knows is fire and an unbearable heat.

* * *

Hurt. Betrayal. Guilt. That was all she could feel as she sat on the couch. Hurt and betrayal that Parker lied to her, used her. Guilt because she had, unknowingly, put her sisters in danger by bringing a demon into their home and lives. Sure she hadn't known what he was, but only because he had manipulated her. Found a way around her empathy and telepathy. Maybe if she hadn't kissed him while he was still with Lucy, none if this would have happened.

She hears Harry say something but is too caught up in her thoughts to register his words. She knows they are worried about her but she doesn't have it in her to reassure them.  
Why did she have to go and fall for a demon? She should have stayed away, even after Lucy gave them her blessing. She should have listened to Mel when she tried to warn her. She was right about Ray, after all. Of course she'd be right about Parker as well.

Her musings are cut short at the small movement coming from the fireplace. She looks over and gasps at the sight of the black smoke. Seconds later, her sisters and Harry are standing up as Hunter appears, the marks from the crows still bleeding slightly. The look of rage on his face makes her blood run cold.

“I'll make you pay for what you did,” he snarled, pointing to the cuts. He takes a step forward, arm stretched out, pointing at Maggie. Mel, Macy and Harry stepped closer to her. “If it weren't for you, my brother-"

He's cut off as a shadow figure enters the room, coming to a stop beside Macy. Maggie can't help but stiffen as Macy moves away slightly. She feels Mel and Macy glance at her, their hands coming to rest on her shoulder and back, but she ignores them. Instead, she glares at Parker, who is holding a golden staff. Hunter looks at the staff then his brother.

Hunter sneers. “Planning on using that on them, brother? It would be a good way to redeem yourself. You know Father won't be pleased with you after he finds out that you failed to drain their powers.”

Parker tightens his grip on the staff. “Leave them alone, Hunter. I will use this if I have to. And it won't be on them.”

Hunter scoffs, his rage building. “You'd really use that on me, your own brother, just to protect a few witches and a whitelighter!?” He takes a menacing step forward.

  
Parker steps in front of the Charmed Ones protectively. “I will. If you force me to.”

Hunter can no longer contain his rage and starts to lunge. Maggie lets out a short scream and her sisters and Harry flinch back. Parker slammed the staff on the floor and recites a spell.

“Temelechus, Deschide, Poarta!” The staff is slammed down again.

“Temelechus, Deschide, Poarta! Temelechus, Desc-" Parker is suddenly cut off as a coughing fit hits him. Mel jumps forward and grabs the staff, repeating the words. As she continues the incantation, the room shakes and the orange glow of fire starts shining through the floorboards. Macy reaches out for the staff.

“Temelechus, Deschide, Poarta!”

Maggie grabs the gold staff and says the spell one final time. A portal opens in the floor behind Hunter and starts pulling at everyone in the room. As the girls, Harry and Parker struggle to keep their balance, Maggie sees Hunter's grin and freezes. She hears his words and feels his powers yank her to him. Feels the heat from the portal. She only has a second to see the looks of horror before the two are sucked into Tartarus, the staff falling after them. Then everything goes black.

* * *

Maggie wakes to boiling heat and the strong smell of sulfur. She groans slightly and squeezes her eyes shut against the pounding in her head. She lays on the warm ground, willing the aching to stop. After a few moments, she opens her eyes and sits up. Looking around, she pales as she remembers what happened and where she is.

Tartarus.

Standing up, she moves to the wall to try and find a door that will lead her out. She's in a circular room, with the walls going up as far as the eye can see. There are small, flame-like gaps in the hot brick.

Though she suspects it won't work, she calls for Harry. “Harry! Harry, please tell me you can hear me.”

There's a rustling sound that comes from outside the room and she gasps quietly. As the sound grows louder, her breathing picks up.

“Who's there?” She asks.

The only reply she gets is a bone-chilling laugh. She shivers. She hesitantly moves closer to the gaps in the wall, trying to get a look at what is outside.

“Who are you? Show yourself!” Again, her only answer is laughter. “Let me out! I don't belong here! Please!”

The movement finally comes to a stop. But there is still only silence. She starts to shake and tries again to call her whitelighter, to no avail. After minutes of complete silence, a deep, rumbling voice startles her out of her thoughts.

“A Charmed One. In my jailhouse? This is a pleasant surprise.”

“Who are you?” She peers through the brick, trying to find the source of the voice.

“What kind of bad memories would a young witch like you have, I wonder? Would you like to find out? I know I would.” The voice taunts.

Confusion hits Maggie. _Bad memories? What do bad memories have to do with anything?_ She wonders. She shakes the thoughts away as she hears movement coming closer. She looks through the gaps again and jerks back with a scream upon seeing an eye the size of her fist. A dragon eye. Connected to the head and body of a dragon. Fear floods Maggie as the dragon's laughter echoes throughout her cell.

* * *

Macy sighs as she flips yet another page in the Book Of Shadows. She's been looking for a way to get her youngest sister out of demon prison for the past three hours. Mel looks up from the book that she's looking through.

“We’ll figure this out. We will get her back. We have to.” Mel says.

“I know. I'm just so scared for her. I mean, who knows what she's going through down there?” Macy replies. She looks at the time on her phone, noting that its been a couple of hours since Harry went to consult the Elders. “How much longer do you think Harry will be?”

“I don't know. Hopefully not too much.” Mel pauses. “Do you think I should talk to the Sarcana? I mean, they broke someone out of Tartarus. Maybe they can do it again. Or at least tell us how to.”

“I think we should wait for Harry to get back. See what the Elders have to say.”

Its quiet for several moments. Then, “How badly do you think this will affect her?”

Mel sighs. “Which part? Dad not showing up, disappointing her again, Parker, someone that she really liked, turning out to be a demon set on stealing our powers and then probably planning to kill us or being sent to demon jail to be tortured until we can get her out?” Macy winces slightly. “Sorry." Mel apologizes. “This is all just so messed up.”

“Its okay. I'm frustrated too. And worried. I may not have been able to grow up with you two, but I have come to love you both so much.”

A small smile crosses Mel's face before fading. “I honestly don't know how this will affect her. Tonight was one blow after another. She's always been strong but…”

“Sometimes, even the strong can fall.”

* * *

Its another two hours before Harry returns. He appears in a dark corner of the attic, his presence going unnoticed, giving him time to study his charges. He knows how scared and worried they are. He is too. He wishes he knew what was happening to Maggie. Unfortunately, Even the Elders don't know what happens once someone is sent to Tartarus. He sighs and clears his throat softly. Both women look up at him, hopeful that he was able to get the answers they desperately need.

He shakes his head regretfully. “I'm sorry. They have no idea of how we can get her back. They will keep looking, however. It will just take time.”

Mel and Macy's heads bow, Mel's resting on the book she has in her lap.  
Macy's eyes fill with tears. _I can't lose one of my sisters now! I've only just got them!_ She thinks. “What now? I've gone through this thing several times. There's nothing here.”

“We keep at it. There must be something. We just have to find it.” Harry answers. He moves to sit on the couch when Mel lifts her head and speaks.

“What about the Sarcana? I can ask Jada. She got someone out. She obviously knows of at least one way. Maybe she'll know another."

“Absolutely not! The Sarcana are dangerous, Mel. You know this. We'll just have to wait until the Elders find something. Or we do."

“We may not have long, Harry. She's trapped in Tartarus! A prison for demons! How do you think she'll be treated because she's a witch, let alone a Charmed One? Hell, for all we know, she could already be dead! We don't have time to wait for the Elders to find something, if they can.” She pauses, stifling a sob. “Please. Just let me ask Jada. I need my sister back.”

She and Harry lock eyes, with Macy's bouncing back and forth between them. “Please, Harry. We need all the help we can get. They might know of a way that the Elders won't have.” Macy implores.

Harry sighs. Its tempting to say yes. He's terrified for Maggie. But he distrusts the Sarcana too much. Especially after Fiona. “I'm sorry. But no. There's no guarantee that they won't betray us. Let's keep looking here. The Elders will summon me if they find something.” Mel scoffs and storms out of the room. Harry and Macy watch her go sadly.


	2. Chapter 2

_A freaking dragon. Of course hell's jailer has to be a freaking dragon_, Maggie thinks as she moves to sit against the wall. She pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arm around them. Thankfully the dragon has left her alone for the moment. She wonders about what he meant when he had said that about bad memories. What could it mean? What would it matter if she has bad memories? She knows she does. Finding her mother dead. Learning the truth about her demonic ex-boyfriend. Various other points in her life. Everyone has bad memories. It's a very Unfortunate part of life.

She shakes the thoughts of bad memories away and instead thinks of her sisters and Harry. She wonders what happened after she and Hunter fell. I wonder what they did to Parker? Did they vanquish him? Let him go? Or were they too shocked by what happened that he was able to escape before they could attack him? She honestly doesn't know which she would prefer.

She hopes her sisters and Harry come for her soon. She really doesn't want to find out what the dragon meant. She knows, though, that she will likely be stuck for a while longer. And that she will be subjected to hell's torture before they can get to her. She can't help the stab of resentment for Parker. If he had never come into her life she wouldn't be here. But at least it wasn't Mel or Macy. She doesn't know what she would do if either one had gotten sucked in here. Harry either. She shivers at the thought.

She barely hears the small scuttle before she feels something fall on her arm, just above her wrist. She jolts, startled. Before she can look, she hears the dreaded footsteps of the dragon returning.

“Ah, little witch. Are you ready?”

Maggie takes a shaky breath. “Ready for what?” She whispers.

“To see what your worst memories are, of course. Though, for the first, I think I'll start off easy.” Just as he finishes, she feels movement on her right arm. She looks and screams at the black scorpion the size of her hand resting calmly. Before she can move to throw it off, its tail stretches out, then springs forward, the tip piercing the soft flesh of her wrist. There's a burning sensation and everything, including the dragon's laughter, fades.

* * *

* * *

_She's five years old. She's curled up on her bed, hiding underneath the covers and clutching the stuffed puppy that her daddy got her as a birthday present the day before. She's hiding from the yelling coming from her parents in the kitchen. Her mother and father had been fighting more and more often lately and she hated it. Maggie usually hid with Mel, letting her sister distract her, when the screaming got this loud, but Mel was at a friend's house for the weekend. She pulled her stuffed puppy closer as she crept out from under the covers and tiptoed to the door, cracking it open._

_As she leaves her room to go crawl into Mel's bed, she hears something shatter and she jumps. That, too, had been getting worse. Things being thrown and broken. She didn't think her mother or father were throwing anything at each other, but just throwing stuff out of frustration. As she pads closer to her sister's room, the voices grow louder, and she can finally make out what is being said._

_"Why the hell didn't you tell me she wasn't mine?! I deserved to know! How can I look at her the same way? How can I love her now that I know?" Her father, Ray, asks._

_"How can you say that, Ray? You raised her for five years. Why does knowing now make any difference?" Marisol says._

_"The difference, Marisol, is that you cheated on me! I thought you loved me! I thought you were done with Dexter and his daughter!"_

_"Macy is my daughter, too, you know. And I still love them both very much. The only reason Dexter and Macy aren't here right now is because of the sacrifice for bringing her back to life. You know that, if we see each other ever again, one of us will die." The five year old feels a tendril of fear for her mother at this. "I've been very open with everything that went on before Dexter had to take her."_

_Ray scoffs. "Oh yes! You were very open about them. But only for before you screwed him and got pregnant with another child of_ his!_ While _married _to _me_!" There's hurt and anger mixed in Ray's voice._

_Little Maggie is filled with confusion. _Who's Macy and Dexter? And why are mommy and daddy saying that he's not my daddy?

_"Yes, I slept with Dexter again, and yes, Maggie was the result of that night. But that doesn't mean that you can't love her any less than before. Be angry at me, but _do not_ take it out on that little girl."_

_Ray sighs in defeat. "Were you ever going to tell me, Marisol?" Its quiet for several minutes. "I can't stay with you anymore. Every time I see Maggie now, all I see is your betrayal." There's a slight pause. "I'm leaving."_

_"What about Melanie? Are you just going to abandon her? Just because you can't accept Maggie? What do you think that'll do to her?" Marisol's voice shakes._

_"I'll still love Mel. I always will. But I can't stand the sight of you any longer. Goodbye, Marisol." Seconds later, the front door slams as Ray Vera walks out of his wife and daughters' lives._

* * *

* * *

Macy sighs as she slams the book she's been looking through shut. Her head falls into her hands as a few tears escape her closed eyelids. She's terrified for her youngest sister and worried about Mel. She knows that its hit Mel hard, having never really been apart from Maggie without being able to reach her in some way. She sets the book beside her on the couch and stands up, stretching to work out the kinks from being in the same position for too long.

Yawning, she leaves the attic to make herself a cup of coffee. _And to check on Mel,_ she thinks as she passes her sister's door. Before she can make it to the landing, however, a noise reaches her ears. Coming to a stop, she listens carefully. She backtracks, following the sound back to Mel's closed door.

Knocking softly, she opens the door, peering around it to look at the bed, where Mel lay curled on her side, her face streaked with tears. Saying nothing, Macy moves towards her sister, laying on the bed behind her and wrapping her arms around Mel, pulling her close. Mel sniffles, taking a deep, shuddering breath.

“Are we ever gonna get her back?” She asks, voice cracking.

“Honestly? I don't know. I hope we do. I just found you both. I really don't want to lose either one of you now. But if even the Elders don't know of any way…” Macy trails off. She runs her fingers through Mel's hair, hoping to comfort them both. They lay there for hours, thinking of their lost sister, racking their minds for a way to get her back. Eventually, they both finally fall into a restless sleep.

* * *

The alarm from Macy's phone wakes them the next morning. Silencing it, she looks over at Mel, taking in her puffy, bloodshot eyes and tangled hair. She knows she likely looks the same.

“You going to work today?” Mel asks.

Macy thinks about it. “No. I need to be here in case the Elders find a solution.”

Mel's retort is quiet. “Yeah. If they find one.”

“Let's just give them a few days. Then, if they have nothing, we can go to the Sarcana.” Mel opened her mouth to interrupt, but Macy rushes to continue. “Right now I trust the Elders more than the Sarcana. Mostly because I don't know them that well. But if they still have nothing or at least say they have nothing by, say, Friday, then we'll ask the Sarcana.”

“And in the meantime? While she's down there going through who knows what?”

“In the meantime, we'll keep looking through the books. With how many we have, there ought to be an answer somewhere.”

Both women leave the room, heading downstairs to the kitchen for some coffee. Just as they sit at the table, a purple portal opens and Harry and Charity step through. The young witches look towards Charity, who sighs.

“I'm sorry, girls. At the moment, we still have nothing. The other Elders are going to keep looking. While they do, I will stay here and help you go through the books you have.” She sees the hopelessness in their eyes and wishes that she had better news for them. Harry moves to them and puts a hand on each one's shoulder.

* * *

As Maggie comes back to awareness, she wants to vomit. _That can't be true_, she thinks desperately. _Dexter Vaughn couldn't have been my father!_

“Whatever game you're trying to play, it won't work! I know that memory was a lie! I know who my father is!” She yells.

The dragon laughs. “Are you sure? My scorpions’ stings never show false memories. They are designed to show only the most painful and traumatic ones. I do wonder, though, was it painful because you were lied to by your own mother? Or was it painful because you are the reason your sister grew up without her father?”

Her stomach churns at the realization. She whimpers. _Mel, I'm so sorry._ A tear escapes her eye as the dragon's footsteps grow quieter, leaving her alone. She thinks of the anger that Mel holds for their-no _Mel's_ father. And all because of Maggie.

_How could I have forgotten something like this? Did mom see or hear me? Did she use a potion or spell to erase the memory?_

And Macy! God, her mother said that Macy had been brought back to life! She had died at some point in her life. That thought is too much for her already unsettled stomach and she lurches up, stumbling to the other side of her cell to empty her stomach.

Scrunching up her nose she moves away, wishing she had some water to wash the taste out of her mouth, Maggie leans against the wall for a moment. Then she finally lets a few tears fall, thinking about her sisters, especially Mel.

Before she can dwell too long on just what she's cost her sister, however, she hears the heavy footsteps of Tartarus’ jailer. “Oh, you stupid, giant lizard, can't you just leave me alone?” She mutters under her breath.

The response is a loud snort. “I was given orders to make this as painful as possible, for all of my prisoners, witch. And when they found out a Charmed One had been sent here, they told me to make this especially painful for you. And so I shall.”

“Haven't you ever heard of rebellion?” She snarks, hoping to avoid being assaulted by another memory. “Do you at least have a name so I can stop calling you The Dragon in my head?”

Silence. She lifts her head and looks through the gaps in the wall to see his fist-sized eye regarding her. They lock eyes for a full five minutes before he finally speaks.

“My original name has long since been lost to me. After most of my kind were eradicated, I was spared with the condition that I would become the warden of Tartarus. After I agreed, I was given the name Tortorem.”

“Tormentor.” Maggie whispers.

“Yes. And I do love causing my prisoners as much pain and suffering as I can. After all, that's why they chose to let me live.”

“Even if they don't belong here?”

“It matters not whether they belong or not. If you pass through the gate, you are mine for as long as you are here. And if it so happens that you die…well then you are still stuck here for eternity. You will just be another restless spirit, left to wander in constant pain.” Tortorem lets out a chuckle as she starts to shake. “Now enough talk. Its time for another memory.

This time, the scorpion stings her left wrist.


	3. Chapter 3

Macy jumps as Mel slams her book shut. “Dammit! This is getting us nowhere!”

Macy lowers her eyes back to her own book. “I know. But we have to keep looking, Mel.”

Mel snorts. “For how much longer? It feels like If we were going to find something, we would have by now.” She rests her head in the palm of one of her hands, closing her eyes tiredly.

_She's right, _Macy thinks. Its been four days since Christmas Eve. Four days since Maggie has been trapped. Neither Mel nor Macy had gotten much sleep since. Every time one of them tried, she'd wake up screaming. Which ultimately led to short tempers, that poor Harry seemed to take the brunt of.

_Speak of the devil and he shall appear,_ she thinks as Harry walks into the room. _He looks disheveled,_ she notes, feeling concerned after giving him a once over. _And a bit pale._ She glances at Mel to see if she's noticed him but her eyes are still closed. Macy nudges her leg, receiving a glare in in return. She glances at Harry then back at Mel. As Mel's eyes rake over Harry she, too, feels concern for their whitelighter.

“Harry? You okay?” Mel asks.

He glances at them. “Yes, of course.”

Mel raises an eyebrow. “You sure? You look a bit…” She trails off, unsure of how to continue.

Macy chimes in. “Disheveled. You look a bit disheveled.”

“Hm, yes, I was up all night helping some of the Elders look through their books.” He answers, looking through a stack of books. “Then, Charity contacted me and asked me to bring her an old lore book on Tartarus. She thinks there might be something in it that can help. I suppose I was in a bit of a hurry to get here so I could find it.” He explains.

Mel jumps up in interest. “What's the title? Maybe we can help find it?”

Harry makes a small ‘a-ha' sound, holding up a very old looking book. It looks so old the cover isn't even in English nor Latin. “No need, but thank you, Melanie. I'll just get this to Charity, then.” He looks up at them. As he takes them in, his brow furrows upon seeing the dark circles under both women’s eyes. He can't help but notice that both look thin.

Suddenly, he feels guilty, knowing that he hasn't been around to make sure they take breaks and eat.

Coming to a decision, he says, “I'll just take this to Charity and when I get back, I'll fix us all a good meal, as I'm sure we could all use it. Then, because you two look dead on your feet, you will go and get some sleep. If you need me to, I can whip up a sleeping potion that will help you fall into a dreamless sleep.” His words are met with immediate protests. “This is not up for debate, ladies. We could _all_ use the break.” With that said, Harry orbs straight to Charity's home. 

He appears in a large room with mahogany furniture and a navy blue leather couch. In front of the couch sits a glass-topped mahogany coffee table. Loose papers and books cover its surface. The walls are painted a deep, royal blue and the pinned back curtains are only a few shades lighter. Despite the dark accents, the room is vey bright and warm.

As he glances around for Charity, a small smile graces his lips as he remembers the times he, Fiona and Charity had in this very room. That smile turns sad as he remembers that this is the room in which he was told about Fiona's fate. He remembers the anger and helplessness he felt when the Elders told him that he had to leave her in the institution. He also recalls the day they were told she committed suicide. He remembers sitting in this room with Charity, both feeling the pain at losing her. He still feels a tiny bit of resentment towards them and the Sarcana both.

_The Elders should have let_ _me__ help her. They should never have let her fall in with the Sarcana. And the Sarcana should have at least helped her escape from the institution. _

Bringing himself out of his memories, he moves towards the ornate desk in the corner of the room and places the book on it for Charity to find. Then he orbs back to Hilltowne to make himself and the girls some very much needed food.

* * *

Appearing in the kitchen, he takes a minute to think of something that will restore their energy. Settling on something, he sets about making it.

As he works, his thoughts turn to Maggie and he can't help but feel that he's failed her. _She's my charge. I'm supposed to protect her. I'm supposed to prevent things like this from happening._ He's not even sure what he feels the most guilt over: Maggie becoming trapped in Tartarus or Parker's betrayal of her, of them. He thinks that, as a whitelighter, he should have been able to feel the evil side of Parker. _And of Hunter when he was impersonating Macy._ Unfortunately, he had been too busy keeping an eye on Galvin. _And getting drunk off my arse because of Maggie's coquito,_ he thinks with a twinge of embarrassment as he remembers having passed out on the couch.

_At least we don't have to worry about Galvin spilling the girl's secrets._ While he isn't happy that Macy wouldn't let him mind-wipe Galvin, he does trust that he won't tell anyone about what he learned that night. Harry does feel a bit bad for Macy, though. He knows that she's still a bit hurt that Galvin can't accept all of her. He knows, though, that given enough time she'll be fine.

Noticing that the food is about ready, he starts up the stairs to the attic to get Mel and Macy. Finding the room empty, he tilts his head in thought of where they could be. He decides to check each of their rooms, starting with Macy's.

_Okay. They're not in their own rooms. Definitely not in the kitchen. Perhaps the den?_ Rather than walking, he orbs, just in case they are asleep.

_Not here, either. Where else could they be hold up?_ He stands in place, thinking. Then it hits him. _Of course. This should have been the first place I looked after the attic._

Ascending the stairs again, he moves straight to Maggie's door and eases it open. There on her bed lay Mel and Macy, both on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. They are speaking quietly with each other.

He knocks gently on the door to get their attention. “If you'll come downstairs, there's food in the kitchen. Something that will bring our energy levels back up.” He says.

“Alright, Har. We'll be right there.” Mel smiles at him. She receives a small smile in return. After he leaves, she turns to Macy to finish their conversation.

“I still think we should try the Sarcana,” she says.

Macy sighs. “I've told you that I still don't trust them, Mel. Remember we promised each other that we would listen to the others? Especially about something big like this. I think we need to wait just a little bit longer to see if the Elders get something.” She looks into Mel's eyes and sees the desperation and fear. “I know you want her back, I do too. But Mel we have to do this carefully. If we are reckless, there's a chance that we could release something far worse than even the Harbinger.”

Mel curls inward slightly. “I know, Macy. I'm just so ready for all of this to be over with."

“Me too, Mel. Me too. Now come on. If we don't hurry, Harry will come looking for us again. Don't need him scolding us again.” She chuckles lightly when Mel rolls her eyes in response.

* * *

She can't stop staring at her arms.

Each sting from the scorpions, each memory she relives as clearly as if it were happening for the first time, causes the black veins to crawl closer to her heart. She knows they've already reached her shoulders. She can see them peeking out of the top of her shirt. She suspects that Tortorem will make the scorpions sting her feet next. That way, he can torture her for longer. _If this stuff is even poisonous,_ she thinks.

She wishes it wasn't too hot to wear her jacket. The horrific sight of her arms makes her almost as nauseous as the memories that Tortorem has given her so far.

She's so tired. She wonders how long she's been here. It feels like its been months already, but she knows better. If it had been that long, surely the poison would have killed her before then. She kind of wishes it already has. Anything would be better than this. Despite her best efforts, her mind wonders to the latest memory.

* * *

* * *

_A seven year old Maggie tries her hardest to keep up with the 14 year old Mel. Its Halloween night and the two young girls are out trick-or-treating, like nearly every other child in Hilltowne. Little Maggie is dressed as a cat, whiskers and all, while Mel decided to dress as a vampire. Struggling to keep up with her big sister, Maggie calls out to her. _

_“Mel! Slow down! You're going too fast!” _

_Mel pays her no attention. She's too angry. “If it weren't for having to take you trick-or-treating, I'd have been able to go to that party,” she grumbles at her sister, speeding up a bit. So lost in her anger, she doesn't realize that her little sister has fallen behind. Something that she comes to regret dearly._

_ Maggie had stopped because her tail fell off. Stooping to pick it up, she doesn't notice the shadowy figure that's been following them since they left the manor. Even if they had noticed him, there would have been nothing they could do. _

_By the time Mel realizes her sister isn't behind her anymore, its too late. The only sign that she'd even been there is the fake cat tail lying in the middle of the damp road. _

_It’s a very long week for herself, her sister and her mother before she's found lying in the edge of the woods, covered in open wounds and a blood-soaked cat costume._

* * *

* * *

Forcing the memory back, Maggie shudders. Before, she had only remembered waking up in the hospital, scared and confused. She'd known nothing that went on in the week she was with the demon-for she knows now that that's what had taken her. Mel had refused to leave her side, even after she was released from the hospital. She didn't even remember having been injured and she has no scars to prove she was ever taken. As far as she knew, Mel didn't remember the whole affair at all anymore.

_Thank god for whitelighters, I suppose,_ she thinks dully.

That was the only thing she could figure happened. Her mother must have had someone heal her and mind-wipe her and Mel. She wonders idly if it was Harry.

Looking at her shin, she can see where a two inch gash used to be. She can still feel the cold blade slicing her skin open, can still feel the warm blood seeping out. She clenches her fists, digging her nails into her palms and using the slight pain to push the memory away.

“Wish Harry was here. He'd probably be glad to mind-wipe me.” She mutters to herself, her words slurring slightly. She closes her eyes as sleep claims her, though its not a peaceful sleep.

Sometime later, she's jolted awake by a terrified scream from one of countless other prisoners. She feels sympathy for whoever the screamer is, be it demon or not. She wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, no matter what they've done. Sighing, she closes her eyes.

Unknown to her, Tortorem is watching her through the wall. He has to admit that he's surprised. He wasn't expecting a Charmed One to have such a harsh past. But it didn't matter to him.

Before he was brought here he had always thrived on the pain of others. That hasn't changed and likely never will. He thinks he'll make the next session with her slightly less painful. He doesn't want her to lose herself just yet after all. The time for Maggie Vera to break will come eventually, though. It does for everyone that has the misfortune to pass through his gates.

Moving away from Maggie's cell, he ponders which prisoner he should torment next.


	4. Chapter 4

In between torture sessions she thinks. About anything and everything that will, hopefully, keep her mind off of what she's forced to remember. Currently, she's thinking about Parker. She thinks about what he’d told her at the gazebo the night he revealed himself and his true nature. Did his life-threatening illness come from being half demon and half human? Is that what he meant when he'd said he had no choice? Was draining her and her sisters’ powers the only way he could save himself? 

Her lip curls up in a slight sneer. _Self preservation at its finest. Tell a girl you love her right after you try to drain her powers and your half brother tries to kill her and her sisters._

She's not sure if she believes that he truly loved her. If he had, he never would've given her the necklace to begin with. Would have never let his brother impersonate Macy either. 

_He did save me though,_ she recalls. She'd been frozen in place as Hunter stepped closer to her with the shard of glass raised, after throwing Harry into the fence. Then Parker had tackled him. 

_Though maybe if I had a more useful power, he wouldn't have needed to save me,_ she thinks bitterly. _Why did I have to be stuck with the stupid passive power? How is that supposed to help us save the world from demons? Am I just supposed to telepathy them to death? Or use my power to give them therapy and turn them back into humans? As if._ She snorts.

The only good thing that comes from her empathy and telepathy is the fact that it allows her to understand her sisters better. Its a small comfort however. 

She has no way to protect them if they get hurt. She feels useless when they go up against a demon and whatever else they may have to face out there. She thinks back on when Lucy had accidentally conjured Brenda. Maggie had had to rely on Harry and Mel to save her when Lucy jumped off the Kappa house. And yeah, Maggie was able to heal Lucy's hurt, vanquishing Brenda in the process, but if Maggie had been the only one there, Lucy would have died. She shudders at that thought. 

She wipes away the tears that are gathering in her eyes.

Her thoughts drift to Dexter. She wonders if he knew about her. _If he did, would he have loved me? Unlike Ray, who couldn't even stand the thought of me,_ she thinks sadly. She thinks of what he'd said to her mother the night he found out.

‘How can I love her now that I know?’ 

What did it matter that she was never his? Did he only say that because Marisol had lied to him? Or did he truly feel that way? Did he feel like that before he found out? Her heart sinks at the thought. 

_Even if he did feel that way the whole time, that didn't mean he had to abandon Mel,_ she thinks, guilt welling up inside her. _He shouldn't have let his hate for me get in the way of his relationship with his only daughter._

_If I ever get out of here, Mel will never find out about this if I can help it,_ Maggie vows_._

_Should I tell them about Macy?_ She's torn on whether she should or not. On one hand, it would help Macy to know that she wasn't unwanted. Far from it, what with their mother resurrecting her. Maggie knows from all the times she's accidently read her thoughts that Macy has always thought that her mother didn't want her. She wants to be able to reassure her that that wasn't why they didn't grow up together. Their mother had only wanted to keep her safe. 

On the other hand, them knowing would most likely only hurt them. Though they still have their differences, Maggie knows that Mel would be devastated at the though of Macy being dead, regardless of the fact that it was in the past and that she's alive and well now. 

_At least, I hope they are alive and well right now. Hopefully doing anything they can to free me._

She moves to lay on her side in the dirt, with her back pressed up against the wall. “I know its supposed to be a prison for Hell's worst, but they could still provide beds,” she grumbles. She longs to be at home with her sisters and Harry. As she lay on the dirt cover floor, she falls into the first peaceful slumber she's had since she fell through the portal. 

This time when she dreams, its of her cuddled up to her sisters, with Harry sitting in the chair reading a book, glancing at them fondly as they tease each other. 

* * *

Mel is losing hope. They all are. It has been three weeks, after all. The Elders keep saying they are close to a solution, but they can never seem to actually find one. It almost seems as if the Elders couldn't care less that one of their precious Charmed Ones is trapped somewhere she doesn't belong. 

They are supposed to be these all powerful and extremely knowledgeable witches and yet they can't find a way to break into Hell's prison. _Yeah, right,_ Mel scoffs. 

She wonders if they should try talking to Harry again about asking the Sarcana. She knows he's getting as desperate as she and Macy are. They'd probably make more progress with them in a day than the Elders have this whole time. At least, she hopes they would. 

She thinks back to the look on Maggie's face just before she was sucked into Tartarus. She remembers the fear and horror in her eyes and shudders. She can't remember the last time Maggie had looked so scared. 

She's drawn from her thoughts as Macy and Harry walk into the kitchen. 

“Morning,” she greets. “Coffee's ready.” She receives a nod and thank you from both. She knows Harry, at least, has been up for a few hours already so she asks, “Elders find anything yet?”

His movements still. _That can't be good,_ she thinks as she and Macy share a fearful look.

“Harry? What did they find?” Macy asks after several moments have passed. His shoulders slump in response. 

“They still have no clue as to how we can get her back.” Both girls feel a wave of disappointment at this. “They did, however, find something that details some of what someone goes through when trapped there.” Here he pauses, dreading his next words and their reactions. 

“Well don't just leave us hanging, Harry. Tell us.” Mel commands impatiently, Macy nodding in agreement. 

He turns to them, pain and sadness painted across his face. “When one is sent to Tartarus,” he begins haltingly, “part of the torture is that they are forced to relive every painful and traumatic moment in their life. It won't matter how small or insignificant, if its painful to her it _will_ be used against her.”

There's silence as Mel and Macy digest his words. 

“Her worst memories?” Mel asks quietly, dread lacing her words. “So what you're saying is that Maggie is down there reliving mom's death and Parker's betrayal?”

“Yes. As well as any other bad thing that's happened to her.” Harry replies.

“Like the time she went missing for a week?”

“She went missing for a week?” Macy asks in disbelief. 

“Yeah. She was seven and I was fourteen. It was Halloween night. I was mad because I wanted to go to this really big party but had to take her trick-or-treating instead. I had walked way ahead of her and when I turned around to check on her, she was just gone. That was a very long week for me and Mom. When they finally found her, she seemed fine, just scared. There were no injuries at all. We still don't know exactly what happened. To her, she only remembers being taken in the middle of the road then waking up in the hospital a week later.” Mel explains, her face pale. 

Macy's eyes are wide. “So she may be forced to remember what happened?” Harry nods in confirmation. Macy takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “I have a feeling she's gonna need a _lot_ of therapy when we get her back.” Mel rests her elbows on the table and puts her head in her hands.

“How would we even explain something like this? ‘Oh hey, so my sister was trapped in Tartarus by her half demon ex-boyfriend’s brother and while she was down there she was forced to relive every painful moment of her life thus far, including the time she was kidnapped and held hostage for a whole week.’” Mel scoffs. “I'm sure that will go over well. It'd probably just get us all sent to the loony bin.” 

Macy winces. “Yeah, sorry. That was a bit insensitive.”

“You are probably right, though, Macy. I highly doubt Maggie will come out of this whole mess unscathed. She'll need a lot of help, especially from her sisters.”

“How are we supposed to help her get over this?” Mel cries out in despair. “We don't have any clue as to what she's being shown. And for all we know, the torture could be more than just emotional. They could be torturing her physically too.” 

“We know a few things she'll be shown,” Harry points out quietly. Both girls look at him. “The week she was taken, your mother's death.” He hesitates on the next one. “Parker. I believe the most recent ones will be the most painful for her. We can at least help her through those. Any others she may face, we'll just have to do our best to get her to talk about them.” Unfortunately, he doesn't realize the vow Maggie made and that she intends to keep it, no matter what.

* * *

She jerks awake with a scream. Her heart is pounding and her breath is coming in ragged gasps. She fights to calm herself down but it’s a long fifteen minutes before she succeeds. 

The thudding footsteps alert her to Tortorem's approach. Dread fills her even as she braces herself for another onslaught of unwanted memories. She hopes this time it'll be a less painful experience than the ones before. She knows, though, that its not going to happen that way. _That would be a miracle,_ she thinks. _On the plus side, this will get my mind off of my dream_, she thinks somewhat hysterically. 

As the dragon comes closer, she hears the movements of his scorpions. Seconds later, they start scuttling into her cell through the gaps. She curls more tightly into herself. _Definitely gonna have a major fear of scorpions if I ever make it out of this._ She's startled when he speaks. 

“Hello, Maggie.”

Her eyebrows raise in surprise, then her eyes narrow in suspension. _What is he planning? Usually he just taunts me, then makes the scorpions sting me, then taunts me some more. He never just wants to make conversation. _She doesn't answer him.

He looks at her through the cracks. “It can be considered rude not to greet your gracious host, you know.” 

Against her will, a humorless laugh escapes her. “Gracious host? Last I heard, a ‘gracious host’ doesn't torture their guests to the point of insanity.” 

“Then you have missed out on the best parties. A shame, really. I have always found that the best ones always include torture. More so when the victims are the most innocent ones. Though in your case, I wouldn't exactly say you are completely innocent. You did cost your sister her father, after all.”

_And there it is. _

She groans. “Just give me the memory and get it over with, you stupid reptile.”

He huffs. “That isn't nearly as fun. But if you so wish it.”

She feels the eight legs of a scorpion crawl onto her ankle. She tenses as it readies itself to sting her. Its barbed tail impales her skin and her body goes lax as she's pulled into a more recent memory. 

* * *

* * *

_She and Mel scream and duck as two crows fly out the door to the manor, just barely missing their heads. _

_“How the hell did they get inside?” Maggie asks as they move into the front room._

_“I don't know.” Mel replies, just as dumbfounded. _

_“Why's it so cold? Did mom turn the air conditioning on or something?” Before Mel can answer, there's a crash from upstairs._

_“Mom?!” Both girls call out, racing up the stairs to the attic. All they see is an empty room._

_“Mom? You in here?” Maggie asks in a shaky voice. Mel grabs her arm and Maggie looks at her to see her looking at the window in the back wall. The broken window._

_Maggie gets a very bad feeling. She and Mel creep closer to the broken window, fearing what they'll see if they look out it. They share a terrified look before taking a deep breath and looking down. _

_Both release a scream as they see their mother lying on the ground below, bits of broken glass surrounding her. Her eyes are still open slightly and her right leg is bent at the knee. Its obvious that she's dead. _

_Maggie turns and wraps her arms around her sister, burying her head in Mel's hair, though the scene below has been seared in her mind forever. _

* * *

* * *

Maggie gasps as she regains awareness. Her vision goes blurry as tears well up. She hides her face in her hands as she starts sobbing.

Even though Mel doesn't blame her, Maggie still blames herself for Marisol's death. The way the messages had been worded, she knew that whatever her mother had needed them for, it was urgent. Still, she had ignored them. That will always be one of her biggest regrets. 

_If I hadn't been so obsessed with getting noticed by Lucy so that I had a chance at getting into Kappa, I could have been home. I could have helped her fight off whatever demon killed her. Because of me, Mel has lost both of her parents._ She can hear Tortorem laughing at her anguish as she sobs harder, finally getting the release that she has denied herself since that night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ****This chapter has self-harm*****  
Its not much and its not really graphic but if you are triggered easily DO NOT read it. I've put asterisks at the beginning and end of the sentences. Skip them if you need to. Please.  
Also there will likely be more incidents as this fic progresses. I will try my best to keep it toned down though.

After she's cried herself out for the moment, Maggie wonders what would have happened if she had been able to prevent her mother's death. She knows that Marisol had already arranged for Macy to move to Hilltowne. But what was her plan for after Macy arrived? She knew that one of them would die if they looked into each other's eyes. How was Marisol planning to get around that? 

Or was her plan to introduce the three of them before one of them died? Was she hoping that it would be herself that succumbed to the sacrifice? Surely she wouldn't have brought Macy into their lives just so they could lose her before truly getting to know her. 

_Maybe she had found a way around the sacrifice thing,_ she thinks.

_Or she had a vision and knew that she would die that night because of you,_ a small voice says snidely. 

***Maggie whimpers at that. She scratches her arm, using the physical pain to force the thoughts away.***

She needs to think about something else. Thinking about her mother's death will drive her insane from the guilt long before anything Tortorem throws at her. 

_***Harry! Think about Harry,_ she thinks to herself, dragging her nails down her arm harshly and drawing blood. He's a safe topic. No bad memories associated with him.***

She's really glad she and her sisters have him. In the short time they've known him, she's come to love him like a brother. Though in the beginning she didn't trust him, especially when he was using the training orb. Sometimes she swears she can still feel the phantom pains in her shoulder and arm from the illusion spearing her. 

_It was kind of my fault, I suppose,_ she admits to herself, wiping some of the blood off her arm, then pressing it against her leg to stop the bleeding.

She remembers the look of awe and happiness on his face when they had initiated him into the sisterhood and chuckles fondly. She knew he hadn't wanted to go back to his condo. He liked staying with them too much. She has to admit that she liked having him there too. 

Her heart still aches for him as she recalls what she'd heard in his thoughts as they'd all hugged. ‘I’ve never had my own family. Not one that I can remember at least.’ She'd teared up upon hearing that but she hadn't let him know she'd heard. 

There was also another thought she'd heard that night. One that had surprised her greatly and led to her watching him closely when he’s around Macy. She couldn't believe she and Mel had been so blind to the looks of adoration--with a hint of something else, something she used to see between Ray and Marisol--he shot Macy when he thought no one was looking. She'd see him staring at her, a hint of a smile gracing his lips, when she'd break down magic and turn it into science. 

What had surprised her even more, was that she's seen Macy sending him similar looks, even though she'd been trying for weeks to get with Galvin. Out of curiosity, when she'd catch Macy staring at Harry, she'd find small reasons to brush against her sister's arm. From what she'd heard from Macy's thoughts, she felt that Harry would never return her feelings. 

_If only she knew,_ Maggie thinks with a smirk.

She doesn't yet know how, but if she ever gets out of Tartarus, she'll do what she can to make them see that they both have feelings for each other. _At least with Harry, Macy won't have to worry about some dumb mark trying to keep them apart._ She shifts, reaching for her jacket and balling it up to use as a pillow. Laying on her back she looks up, trying to figure out exactly how high the walls go. She wonders if she could climb it and free herself from Tartarus. 

“’Cause it sure doesn't look like they are gonna get me out anytime soon,” she sighs as her eyes drift closed.

* * *

A few days after Harry told them what Maggie could potentially be going through, Mel and Macy shuffle sleepily into the kitchen. They are slightly surprised to see Harry and Charity standing at the table, bent over a stack of papers and an old book. Macy's stomach twists with jealousy at seeing how close they are standing. 

As they watch, Charity runs her finger down a piece of the paper and then set it aside and running her finger down the next one. She stops halfway down before looking up at Harry, who bends closer to read where she stopped.

“What's going on?” Macy asks. If there's a hint of suspicion in her voice no one pays it any mind.

“Yeah, did you guys find something?” Mel chimes in. 

Charity looks at them while Harry continues to read, moving to the next paper in the stack. “Morning. And no, not yet. This is the book that I asked Harry to bring to me a few days after Christmas. Its taken me a while to translate it because its so old. And unfortunately, so far all I've managed to find since, is that the warden is a dragon.”

“Wait,” Macy interrupts, “is this the book that you found out about what happens to someone when they're down there?”

“No, that was a different one. One that belongs to another Elder. This one,” she gestures at the table and Harry, “is the one that tells about the dragon. And if it can give us that information, it should be able to give us more.” Charity explains.

“But wait. This is as far as you've gotten? Its only, what like twenty pages in?” Mel's stomach drops as she takes in the two inch book and the significantly smaller stack of paper. “It could take _years_ to translate the rest of it!” Charity averts her eyes.

While Mel and Charity continue their conversation, Macy sidles up beside Harry. “Do you think the solution could be in this book?” She questions quietly. 

He takes a deep breath. “Honestly? I have no idea.” He responds, just as quiet. “Mel is right. It will take years to translate the whole book. And unfortunately, I don't think we have that kind of time. From what the other Elders have managed to find so far, Maggie could be lost to us at any moment.” He hangs his head. 

Macy throws her arm over his shoulder and pulls him into a tight hug. She feels his arms circle her waist as he presses his forehead to her shoulder. She runs her fingers through his hair, hoping to provide them both with some much needed comfort. “I don't know what to do anymore, Mace,” he begins softly. “In my sixty years as a whitelighter, never have I felt so powerless. Not even when Fiona was put in the institution. At this point, I'd do anything just to get her back.” 

Macy's eyes fill with tears as she hears the helplessness in his voice. She looks up at Mel, locking eyes with her. She gives her a nearly imperceptible nod, letting her know without words that she's ready to go to the Sarcana for help.

Ignoring Charity's confused look, Macy pulls out of the hug with Harry and moves her hand down his arm to grab his hand, twining their fingers. She tugs him into the living room and sits on the couch, pulling him with her, making sure to keep their fingers intertwined. Ten minutes later, Mel joins them, opting to sit in the chair across from them.

“Charity took the book back to her place to translate more of it.” She informs them.

“Harry,” Macy begins softly, “you said that you would do anything to get Maggie back. Did you mean that?” He looks at her, a myriad of emotions in his eyes.

“Yes.”

Mel hesitates to ask but they have to know for sure. “Even go to the Sarcana?” 

At night when he'd been too filled with guilt over Maggie to sleep, he'd thought on the topic. While he still doesn't trust them, he knows that they are likely the best bet to get to her quickly. It had taken Charity nearly three weeks to get as far as she had. And unfortunately that only told them that the warden is the last dragon in existence. In actuality, the book likely wouldn't tell them of a way to break into Tartarus. It would only tell them _about_ Tartarus. 

The Sarcana, on the other hand, has already broken someone out. 

With that in mind, he looks up at the remaining Charmed Ones and gives his answer, knowing it’s the right choice. Meeting both sets of eyes, he says only one word.

“Yes.”

* * *

Mel wakes up to the sun shining on her face and her heart pounding. Though she tries not to, she thinks back to the nightmare. It was of the night her sister was, hopefully only temporarily, lost to them. She thinks of the terror she had seen in Maggie's eyes just before she and Hunter fell into Tartarus. She remembers screaming for her sister and trying to freeze time before she could fall, knowing that it would be useless. 

After the portal had closed, the four left behind had stood frozen until Galvin's shocked and scared voice broke them out of the trance they had been in. As she, Macy and Harry turned toward him, Parker had taken the opportunity to leave. Rather than try to stop him, they had just let him go. He could be dealt with later. 

Macy and Galvin had moved into the living room and she'd explained everything to him. He didn't take it well, saying that he couldn't handle the magic and the thought of demons. Harry had wanted to erase his memories but he swore he wouldn't reveal what he'd learned about them. Instead, she broke up with him and had sent him on his way. Then she and Mel had moved up to the attic, while Harry went to the Elders. 

Her phone chimes, pulling her from her thoughts and signaling a message. Checking it, she idly notes that its just past ten in the morning. Her message is from Jada.

**Jada: Morning beautiful**

**Mel: Hey **

**Mel: I need to ask you something. About releasing someone from Tartarus **

**Jada: Who do you need to release from Tartarus? **

**Mel: My sister **

**Jada: WHAT**

**Mel: Can I come over? It’s a long story **

**Jada: Of course. See you in 20?**

**Mel: Be there soon**

Mel knows that Harry is still weary about going to Jada. At least he's on board with this and I won't have to deal with a lecture from him. Setting her phone down on the stand beside her bed, she gets up slowly as to avoid waking her sister. Grabbing a set of clothes from her dresser, she makes her way to the bathroom to shower. 

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Mel is sitting on Jada's bed, explaining everything that's led up to now. When she's finished, Jada sits there in silence, processing what she's heard. 

“So that's why you've been so distant the last few weeks.”

Mel smiles sheepishly. “Yeah. I'm sorry. But all of my focus was on getting my sister home.”

“I understand. But I do have to ask. Why did it take you so long to come to me? If this happened nearly a month ago?”

Mel sighs. “Partly because of the Elders. They kept telling us that they were close to finding something every time we asked. It was also partly because Macy doesn't quite trust you yet. Not like I do. She wanted to wait for the Elders.” She explains.

“So what changed? Or are you here without her and your whitelighter knowing?”

“Charity came to the manor last night with this really old, really ancient book. It took her about three weeks to translate just twenty pages of it. All she was able to get from it, is that the warden is a dragon.” Here Jada interrupts.

“It took her _that long_ to get _that little?_” She asks in disbelief. 

Mel nods and continues. “After we realized how long it would take with the Elders, Macy and Harry both decided to let me ask you.” Jada's eyebrows shoot up at that. 

“The whitelighter is okay with this? I thought he had a certain hatred for us.”

“Yeah well. We are all desperate. So can you help us?”

Jada smiles. “You're in luck. I know a demon named Dante. He guards a gate to Tartarus. But, in order to get him to open the gate, you have to have something worth trading. You'll have to hurry, though. Because if she loses hope, that's it. She'll be lost forever.”

Mel ignores the last bit in favor of the first. “Something to trade? Like what?” She pauses, a though coming to her. “Please don't tell me it’s a human soul or something.”

Jada laughs. “No, not a human soul. A demon would be best. But it can't be just any demon. It has to be something powerful. Something he won't be able to turn away.”

Mel's mind whirls. “Something like the Harbinger of Hell?” She asks slowly. 

Jada looks at her in surprise. “Yes. Something like that. Do you know where he is? And how to get him?”

“Yeah. We faced him a while ago. He's trapped in a paint can. Charity took him and put him in a safe place. We can talk to her, get her to give him back to us.” She says excitedly. 

Jada looks skeptical. “Are you sure she'll give him back? I mean, he's the Harbinger.”

“To save their Charmed Ones, she should. And even if she doesn't, we will find a way to get him back anyway.” Seeing her determination, Jada shrugs. 

“If you say so.” 

* * *

As Mel rushes to get home, she goes over what she's going to say to Macy and Harry. She knows they won't like her idea of giving the Harbinger of Hell back to the demons. _They'll just have to get over it, _she thinks. _Its not like we have any other extremely powerful demons lying around_. 

Pulling into the driveway, she stays in the car as it hits her. _We're finally gonna get her back,_ she thinks in awe as her eyes brim with tears. She only gives herself a minute to cry, determined not to waste anymore time than they already have. Taking a deep breath, she opens the car door and heads inside, calling out for Harry and Macy.

She moves to the kitchen, pouring two cups of coffee and setting up a pot of water to boil for Harry's tea. Then she starts thinking on what they can do if Charity refuses to let them have the Harbinger. She's drawn from her planning as Harry and Macy come in.

“Hey, guys.” She greets. She passes Macy one of the coffee cups and tells Harry that the water should be ready.

“Thanks.” Macy takes a sip and they wait for Harry to sit down.

“So what did Jada have to say?” Macy asks eagerly. Harry looks up in interest and slight trepidation.

“She gave me the name and address of someone that guards a gate to Tartarus.”

“Only demons guard the gates.” Harry interrupts.

Mel sends him an annoyed look. “Yes. She did mention that.”

“Then how do we know if this demon will open the gate and let us get Maggie?” Macy asks.

“If you two would let me finish, I will tell you.” They apologize sheepishly. “Thank you. Now, Jada told me that the demon, Dante, will open the gate if we have something good enough to give him in return. I was thinking, we have something that I'm sure will be tempting to him. The only problem would be Charity and the other Elders.”

“What, exactly, are you thinking of giving him?” Harry asks slowly. 

Mel hesitates, looking both in the eye. “The Harbinger.” 

“Yeah there is no way Charity will go for that.” Macy says.

“If she says no, if she refuses? What will you do then?” Harry questions. Macy and Mel both look at him in surprise. Mel had figured that he'd put up a big fight about this. He notices the looks he's receiving. “What?”

“Nothing. Just surprised you're so calm about this.” Mel says honestly. 

“Yes, well. I do recall saying I would do anything. If this happens to be the only option we've got, then I'm all for it. And if need be, I can handle Charity.” 

“If we do this, you won't get in trouble with the Elders will you?” Macy asks him.

“Doubtful. Charity has been working nearly as hard on this as the three of us. Chances are, she likely won't tell the rest how we did it, just that we did.”

“Alright, then. Let's contact her and get this over with.”

Harry nods and orbs away. 

After a minute, Macy can't help but apologize. “I'm sorry."

Mel's eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. “What? What are you sorry for?”

Macy lets out a long sigh. “If I hadn't kept putting off going to the Sarcana, she could have been home weeks ago.” Mel makes a soft noise. 

“Its okay, Macy. In all honesty, I thought the Elders would find something themselves. I would be so close to just asking Jada and then they would be like ‘hey here's a small scrap of information, if we keep looking here we should find something within a day.’ But,” she sighs, “instead of actually finding something, they just kept stringing us along.” 

“Yeah that's part of why I finally agreed to going to the Sarcana. Got tired of-" she's cut off as a purple portal opens.  
Charity steps through, an incredulous look on her face. Harry steps through just behind her.

  
“Please tell me you are not serious about giving the _Harbinger of Hell_ to _demons!_” Silence is her only response. “You're out of your damn minds!” She whirls on Harry. “And _you_! You'd seriously let them do this?! Where on earth did you even cone up with this-this hair-brained idea?”

Mel steps forward. “The Sarcana.” She ignores Charity's scoffed ‘_of course_’ and continues. “We talked about it after you left last night. We got tired of the run around and false hope. The only reason we waited so long, is because we thought you and the other Elders would do more. Especially since she's a Charmed One.” 

“We are doing everything we can to get your sister back, Mel. I'm sorry you feel that we aren't. But going to them? And deciding to give hell one of their biggest weapons back?”

“We got desperate. Even more so after finding out about the memory thing. So, we used our other resource. And I'm sorry if you don't like it but this is how we're going to get her back. Will you give us the Harbinger?” She meets Charity's eyes. “Please?”

Charity says nothing for a moment. Then without a word she turns, waving her hand to create a portal and walks through it.

“Wow.” Macy mutters.

“I never thought she'd leave a Charmed One-" she's interrupted by a smaller version of Charity's portal opening and a paint can sliding through.

“Guess she's not as heartless as I thought,” Mel says as she goes to pick up the can. She looks at Harry then Macy. “Let's go get our sister back.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***This chapter doesn't actually have self harm in it BUT it does contain the subject and results of it. Please read with caution.***

She can feel the last, tiny bit of hope she has left flickering. She's too drained to move, let alone fight. The last few times Tortorem had come, she'd barely struggled to throw the scorpions off. She knows her sisters would urge her to continue fighting, but she doesn't think she can anymore. Its too painful. She refuses to look at any of her skin, for she hates looking at the black poison filling her veins. She knows its crawled up her neck by now.

Her arms are also covered in scratches from where she's dug her own nails in, trying to pull herself out of the memories and thoughts of guilt. She's ashamed of what she's done to her own skin. She fears what her sisters would say if they were to see. She feels the tears of shame well up and spill over but doesn't bother to wipe them away. 

_Gotta cope somehow, I guess,_ she thinks darkly. _Cause I don't think I'll ever get out of here._ The thought doesn't bother her as much as it should. She wonders what will happen after her hope is completely gone. Because she knows that's the only thing keeping her alive at the moment. That last shred of her that's the faith in her sisters and whitelighter. 

She hears Tortorem approach but doesn't move. She doesn't even dread the memory that'll be forced on her. She just lays on her side as a scorpion approaches her neck, readying its tail. Her eyes close just before it pierces her skin.

* * *

* * *

_She's eighteen. _

_She's walking through the woods on the way home from Brian's house. She pays no attention to her surroundings, too busy thinking about the night she and Brian just had. She knows that, after tonight she'll have to break up with him. She just doesn't feel anything with him anymore. Like she's outgrown him. Of course, she knew when she first got with him that it was going to be a temporary relationship._

_She also knows that he won't accept it easily. _Its gotta be done, though,_ she thinks. _How am I gonna do it in a way that will make him understand?_ She ponders this as she ducks underneath a low hanging branch. _

_So immersed in her thoughts, she doesn't hear the quiet footsteps sneaking up behind her. She does notice when she's grabbed around the waist and thrown against a tree, however. The wind is knocked out of her and her vision goes hazy as her head makes contact with the tree. She can hear someone speaking to her, but she can't make out the words._

_As she blinks to clear her vision, the words finally penetrate her dazed mind. “I said, give me all your money and valuables, girl!” A deep voice snarls._

_She begins to struggle against him, kneeing him in the stomach and pushing him off. While he lays on the ground trying to regain his breath, she takes off running. She's only managed to take about fifteen steps before she's tackled. She struggles, trying to throw him off before she manages to flip herself over. As she tries to knee him again she feels a searing pain in her side. She cries out in pain and then the weight is suddenly gone._

_She stays where she is for a moment, breathing through the searing pain in her side. Finally, she turns onto her side upon hearing the grunts of her attacker and someone else. Finding them, she sees that her savior is Brian. The mugger throws him off and stands up, looking between the two before deciding they aren't worth the trouble and taking off, back into the woods._

_Brian stands up and, after double checking that the man is gone, stumbles to where Maggie is struggling to get up. “Are you okay? I'm sorry, I should have been here sooner. I just-I got a bad feeling about five minutes after you left. I ran here as fast as I could but I was still too late and-" He cuts himself off when he notices that she's shaking. “Come on, let's get you home.” She stumbles along with him, in shock at what had just happened._

_The only thing she remembers from the walk home is Brian's comforting presence and a wet, sticky feeling running down her side. The next clear memory she has is her mother screaming. As her mind clears after the scream, she can feel the burning sensation in her side. She's barely aware of Brian explaining what happened as she presses her hand against the wetness. She pulls her hand away and looks at it. Her vision blurs again as she sees that her hand is coated with red. Her legs give out as everything goes black._

* * *

* * *

Mel, Macy and Harry step into the key shop, Mel clutching the paint can tightly. The only thing that can be heard in the dark shop is a loud buzzing sound. They move farther in, looking around for Dante. Upon seeing him leaned over a filing machine, Mel calls out. 

“Are you Dante?” He straightens up and turns to them.

“Who wants to know?” He asks.

“Two Charmed Ones and a whitelighter.” Macy replies. Dante stands up and strides towards them.

“Two Charmed Ones? Ain't there supposed to be three of you? And what could you possibly want from me?”

“That's why we’re here. We want to trade.” Mel gestures to the can. “You give us our sister, Maggie Vera, and we will give you the Harbinger of Hell.” His eyebrows shoot up. 

“The Harbinger of Hell? In a paint can?” He laughs. “Oh I've wanted to get my hands on him for a long time now.” He makes a move to grab the can, but Mel pulls back.

“Hold up. First we need to see her. Make sure she's still…alive.” Dante rolls his eyes as he moves to a small t.v. sitting on a shelf. Turning it on, he twists a knob. 

Harry and the girls gasp as they get their first glimpse of Maggie in weeks. They see her laying still on the ground. Though they can't tell for sure, to them she looks thin. They can see what look like claw marks running down both of her arms.

Their desperation to get her back increases. “Okay. How do we open the door? Do we have to use one of these keys?” Dante's laughing before Harry can finish. 

“Before the door is opened, I have to make sure you uphold your end. Let me see the can.” He pauses. “And if its not the Harbinger, you three will regret it.” He finishes menacingly. 

Mel reluctantly hands it over. “You likely won't be able to open it,” she says as he fists his hand and runs it around the rim of the can, electricity connecting to the top. “Its enchanted.”

He gives them an incredulous and angry look as he pops the top open. “Are you trying to trick me?” He asks angrily. “I told you I would make you regret this.” He takes a step towards them, but freezes in place.

Mel lowers her hand, shock written on her face. “Charity gave us an empty can?!” 

“I don't believe this!” Macy exclaims. “What do we do now? I don't think Dante will listen if we tell him we didn't know it was empty.”

“Its worth a shot to try. Macy, when Mel unfreezes him, throw him into the wall and then pin him there with this safe,” Harry motions to a tall, tan colored safe. “If he's pinned, he might listen to us.” Mel and Macy nod.

Dante grunts as Macy follows Harry's plan to the letter.

“Listen to us.” Harry demands. “We didn't know the can was empty. If you'll allow it, those two will go get the real can,” he ignores the scowls aimed at him by the girls, “and I will stay here, as insurance. When they get back with the Harbinger, you'll let Maggie out and we'll be on our way.” Mel and Macy's mouths fall open in shock upon hearing Harry's proposal. 

Dante thinks it over. “Fine. But you have until tomorrow. If you're not back by then, the whitelighter gets thrown in, too. And if you bring another fake, I'll throw you _all_ in.” 

“Deal.” Harry turns to Macy and Mel. “We don’t have time for you two to argue with me. Go find Charity and figure out what happened. You can yell at me when this is all over.” Grumbling, both do as they're told. Before she exits the shop, Macy turns and gives Harry a reassuring smile. Then, she's gone.

* * *

“I think I'm gonna strangle her when I see her,” Mel snarls as she and Macy storm into the attic. While they were on their way back home, she had sent Charity a rather colorful message, demanding she come to the manor immediately. 

“We need to find out where the real can is before you kill her, Mel.” Macy puts in. She's just as angry as her sister. She doesn't understand why Charity would give them an empty can right after claiming that she was doing everything to get Maggie back. _Did she do it because we went to the Sarcana?_ Macy shakes her head.

“Where is she? She should have been here by now.” Mel grumbles. 

Before Macy can reply, Charity's portal opens and she steps through. “What's the emergency? Did something go wrong?”

“Cut the innocent act!” Mel growls. “We know you gave us an empty can! Tell me, did you do it because we went to the Sarcana for help instead of waiting for you? Or do you just not care that my sister is rotting in Tartarus, going through who knows what?”

Confusion crosses Charity's face. “What are you talking about, Mel? I didn't give you the wrong paint can.” 

Mel scoffs. “Really? Because Dante was able to open the one you gave us. You know, the one that's _supposed_ to be _enchanted_? Give us the real can. Now.”

“That _was_ the real can, Mel!”

Macy intercedes. “I think she's telling the truth, Mel.” 

Both girls ignore Charity's grumbled “_Thank you!”_

“If she's telling the truth, then what happened?!”

_“I don't know,_ Mel! That thing was in my possession at all times! There wasn't a minu-" she stops abruptly as a memory hits her. She closes her eyes in despair.

“What? What is it?” Macy asks, not liking the look she's wearing.

“As I was taking the Harbinger to a safe place, a man got on an elevator with me,” she starts slowly. “He was about my height, dark hair and blue eyes. He had an accent, one I can't quite place.” Macy's eyes light up in recognition and she hurriedly leaves the room. “He mesmerized me. I've never been mesmerized before.” Her brows furrow. 

“I think I know who it was. And how to get the Harbinger back.” Macy says, returning to the room with a tablet. She shows it to Charity who nods in confirmation.

“Alistair Caine. He owns the lab I work at.”

“And we know his son.” Mel realizes. “Parker.”

Macy nods. “We have to find him. Isn't he a Phi Delt?”

“Yeah I think so. Come on.” Charity stands forgotten in the attic as the girls leave. 

* * *

They wait impatiently after knocking on the door. When several minutes pass by with no answer, they knock again. This time they are rewarded by the door opening and Parker looking out. He balks as he sees them.

“If you know what's good for you, you'll let us in.” Mel says. He hesitates before opening the door wider. “Good choice.”

He sits on his bed as the girls remain standing. “What do you want?” He questions. 

“Your dad is Alistair Caine right? And he's a demon?” Parker nods. “You've been to his lair or whatever you demons call it, yeah?” Another nod. “Have you seen an old paint can?” He thinks for a minute.

“Yeah. I have. Why? What's this about?”

Macy and Mel share a look. “We know how to get Maggie out of Tartarus,” his face lights up. “But, we need that can. We can't get her without it. And we only have until tomorrow. Tell us where it is and we won't vanquish your ass.” Mel ignores Macy's chiding look.

“You won't be able to get it alone. You have to take me with you.”

  
Mel scowls at him. “As if we'd take you with us.”

“There's only one way to get into his study. Neither one of you are capable of it. You have to have the power to either teleport or phase inside. If anyone without those powers try to get in, it'll set an alarm off. Please. Let me help bring Maggie home.”

“Fine.” Macy says after a pause. “But then, you leave Maggie alone. You don't talk to her for _any_ reason. Got it?” Parker nods reluctantly. “Then let's go.”

* * *

She doesn't like phase-shifting, as Parker calls it. It churns her stomach. _But as long as it gets us what we need, I'll gladly do it anytime,_ Macy thinks as Parker turns off the security camera after a short coughing fit. Once they get the okay, she and Mel move away from the wall. 

She can't help but think that its been too easy. That is until Harry decided to voluntarily stay with a demon. She knows she should focus on Maggie, but she's scared for him now, too. _And it has nothing to do with my feelings for him,_ she thinks. She knows she's lying to herself. She knows he can take care of himself but she still couldn't believe that he'd agreed to stay with Dante. _That was the stupidest thing that stupid, handsome whitelighter could have done._ Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she watches as Parker walks up to a bare wall.

“Its behind here,” he says, making a motion that causes the wall to slide back. 

And sure enough, there, on the third shelf down, is the paint can, sitting innocently beside a small glowing bottle. Parker takes hold of it, then passes it to Mel, who clutches it as if her life depends on it. They leave through the same wall they entered from.

* * *

With every step they take towards the key shop, Macy's heartbeat increases with anticipation. She hates that Harry had made them leave him alone with Dante. She understands why he did, but that doesn't lessen the worry that’s building up for both Harry and Maggie. As they finally make it back inside the shop, her eyes immediately seek out Harry. She runs her eyes over him, scanning for injuries, before meeting his. He gives her a slight smile, one that she gladly returns. 

“Dante.” Mel greets as he comes in from a back room. “We've brought the Harbinger.” 

“Is it the real deal this time?” He snarks.

Mel's eyes narrow dangerously. “Yes.” She holds the can out to him as he steps closer.

He takes it and clenches his hand, forming a fist and repeating what he'd done earlier. He laughs in delight. “Now _this_ is what I'm talking about. Ah, I've been waiting for _years_ to get _you_.” He goes to take a step away but Mel jerks the can away.

“Hold on. First, we get our sister. Then, you can throw him in.”

Dante rolls his eyes but walks to the desk. He curls three of his fingers, leaving his pointer and middle ones straight. As he moves his unfurled fingers toward a small box, they meld together into a key. He sticks the key into the box and twists his wrist. With a loud clang, the metal doors on the back wall open. “She'll be right inside those doors. All you gotta do is step through. And you might want to send the whitelighter to get her. She won't be walking under her own power.” Harry nods and steps forward. 

“Be careful, Harry.” It slips out before Macy can stop it. Harry looks at her over his shoulder. 

“Don't worry, Macy.” Then he's stepping through, reappearing only minutes later, holding an unconscious and grime covered Maggie Vera.

* * *

She's home. Her sister is _finally home._ Mel can hardly believe it. She cries in both relief and sadness as she and Macy clean the grime and sweat off her sister's thin body. She wonders if they can do something for the poison running through her veins. Maybe Harry can heal it. They are slightly worried as she hasn't shown any signs of waking up yet. 

As they finally make it to her arms, their stomachs twist as they take them in. They can see that the wounds aren't actually claw marks. Mel looks at Maggie's fingernails and sees dried blood and dirt. She feels sick as she realizes exactly what they are.

“She did this to herself,” she whispers in horror.

Macy's head jerks up. “She _what_?”

“Look at her fingernails. There's blood under them. Whatever memories she was forced to see, it made her do this.” 

Macy shudders. “We'll get Harry to heal them. Maybe she since she's home now, she won't do it again.” 

“Yeah. Maybe.” Though she doesn't voice it, Mel knows it likely won't be that easy. They finish cleaning their sister in silence, each lost in her own thoughts. When they're done, they set about disinfecting her arms and wrapping them in thick layers of gauze. With that done, Macy volunteers to get Harry. As she leaves the room, she can hear Mel begin to sob, bringing tears to her own eyes and a lump to her throat.

Keeping her own sobs at bay for the moment, she heads to the kitchen, where she knows Harry is waiting. Upon her entrance, he jumps up, nearly knocking his chair over in the process.

“How is she?” 

“She still hasn't woken up, yet. And she's all cleaned up except for the poison. We're hoping you can heal that.” Harry nods as he makes a motion to go upstairs. “There's uh-there's one more thing.” She takes a deep, shuddering breath and he looks back at her in concern. “She's got scratches all down both arms. Mel thinks-“ her voice cuts off as the dam breaks and she falls into a chair with her head in her hands as she starts sobbing. 

Harry's eyes widen and he's by her side in an instant, kneeling and gathering her in his arms. She clings to him as she cries for the pain her sister has gone through. 

He knows what scratches Macy is talking about. He'd seen them when he entered her cell, finding her lying at the back wall. The minute he'd spotted them, he'd known that they were self-inflicted. He could only imagine the horror she'd relived to bring about a reaction that severe in Maggie. He, like her sisters, can only hope that she doesn't continue to resort to that habit now that she's out.

Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts, he focuses on the distraught woman in his arms. He wishes that he could hold her under better circumstances. For now, though, he is just glad that she came to him instead of bottling it up. He presses his lips to the side of her head.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has self harm. The sentences will be marked with asterisks.  
Two is the intent   
Three is the actual self harm.

As she regains consciousness, Maggie can tell something is off. Keeping her eyes closed and her breathing even, she tries to figure out what exactly is different. There's a tightness around both forearms and its much cooler. The stench of brimstone and sulfur doesn't assault her nose anymore, either. She can't hear the tortured screams of the other prisoners any longer, nor can she hear the crackle of fire. She can tell she's laying on something soft, softer than her jacket. The softness feels almost foreign. 

She doesn't understand. _Is this another memory? None of the others have felt so…real._ Her breath hitches. _Is this real? Am I free? Or have I finally lost my mind?_ She's leaning more towards the last thought than the former. 

She doesn't want to open her eyes. She's too scared. What if she's still in Tartarus? _But what if I'm not? What if I'm really home, with Macy, Mel and Harry?_ She knows that, if she were home, that they'd be close by, so she listens carefully for any kind of movement that would signify that she's not alone. She hears nothing. 

As she silently curses herself for getting her hopes up, she moves to scratch at her arm. Her brow furrows as her hand encounters something soft yet scratchy. Still refusing to open her eyes for the moment, she traces whatever is on her arm, feeling the familiar pattern as it winds from her wrist to her elbow. Knowing she'll have to look eventually, she takes a deep breath. As she exhales, she gathers her courage and finally opens her eyes.

_I'm home?_ Is her first thought. Tears blur her vision as she looks around her darkened bedroom in uncertainty and fear. _I never thought I'd be here ever again_. She absentmindedly wonders where her sisters and Harry are as she slowly sits up. She looks at the windows and sees that its dark out. _If this is real then I guess they could be in bed._ Just as the thought is passes through her mind, she hears soft footsteps and voices approaching her room. She tenses slightly as the door creaks open. She watches wearily as three silhouettes enter. 

As her eyes meets the matching dark brown of Mel's, a sob breaks free. She brings her hand to her mouth as she takes in her sisters and whitelighter, standing in slight shock in the doorway. Before she can do more than blink, three pairs of arms are wrapping around her tightly. 

She's immediately bombarded by all three’s emotions and thoughts of relief and joy. Though she wants to stay wrapped in their arms for forever, its too much at the moment and she has to pull back, breaking the contact. Unfortunately, doing so causes worry to flare up in their eyes.

She gives them a shaky smile and says, “I'm sorry. The thoughts and emotions were too strong.” Her voice cracks halfway through her short explanation. 

Understanding lights their eyes. “Its okay, honey. We're sorry. We didn't mean to overwhelm you.” Mel says gently. She receives a slight smile in return. 

**She's still not completely sure she's home. She starts to tremble as a thought comes to her. _This could just be another form of torture. Make me think I'm home, then take the hope and happiness away._ Subconsciously, she moves to dig her nails into her arm, hoping the pain will bring her back to reality. Again, something blocks her hand and her brow furrows as she looks down to see thick layers of bright white gauze. _Just something else to make it seem more real,_ she determines.**

**So focused on her gauze-covered arm, she doesn't see the pain and horror pass across her family's face. She starts unwinding the gauze, revealing the deep gouges, which are bleeding sluggishly, and the more prominent scorpion venom. As she stares, a hand moves into her field of vision, hovering over her arm.**

She looks up and meets Harry's concerned gaze. “May I?” He asks softly. She says nothing. Uncertainty flickers over his features and he glances at Mel and Macy before looking back at Maggie. He slowly lays his hand on her arm, letting her read his mind.

_May I heal you?_ He asks.

_I don't know if it'll work. _

_It will, Maggie._

_I'm scared._ His brow furrows. 

_Why? You're home, now. There's nothing to be afraid of here._

_I'm scared this isn't real. I don't want to wake up and this just be another form of torture. My hope is gone. If this isn't real, it will destroy me._

Harry feels his heart break. _Oh Maggie. I swear to you, this _is_ real. I am real, just as your sisters are real. _

She doesn't know if she believes him. She wants to but she knows her heart couldn't take it if it turns out to be a lie. 

_Maggie. Let me prove to you that this is real. Let me heal you._

***She only knows of one way to prove it. She looks back down at her arms. Before they can react, she shakes Harry's hand off and her nails are biting into the skin on her arm, drawing lines of fresh blood.***

As the burning pain registers, she waits for a few seconds before cautiously looking around. She slowly begins to relax as she takes in her bedroom. Her eyes well with tears as she finally looks at the three people, her family, sitting around her. The tears overflow as she takes in their horrified faces. Sobs threaten to break free as she stares, not wanting to look away. 

She reaches a hand out to touch Mel's face, but pulls back when she sees the blood dripping off her arm. She looks away from them in shame as she shrinks in on herself. 

Harry shakes himself slightly and reaches for her, wanting to take away her pain. When he speaks, his words are quiet. 

“Will you let me heal you, now?” She nods, still not looking at them. She feels his hand rest over the scratches and sees the signature white glow, as the burning pain fades away to nothing. “I'm afraid I can't do anything about the poison. That will have to go away on its own.” She nods in understanding. 

“I'm sorry.” She whispers. All three let out a choked noise. 

“What could you possibly be sorry for? You've done nothing wrong.” Harry says with a thick voice. 

_If only you knew,_ she thinks glancing towards Mel. Her face crumbles in guilt and she presses the heel of her hands to her eyes and starts sobbing. She feels someone wrap their arms around her and she wants to pull away but she can't bring herself to. She sits there crying for a long time before falling into a restless slumber.

* * *

After feeling her sister go limp, Mel carefully eases her back into her pillows, ensuring that she stays asleep. She can feel her own tears threatening to fall at the sight of Maggie's tear stained face. 

“What could she have possibly seen to make her fall apart like that?” She asks. Harry and Macy shake their heads.

“Do you think she'll continue to scratch herself? Now that she's home?” Macy wonders aloud.

Harry hums thoughtfully. “Hard to say. I think that she's been using the physical pain to drag herself out of the memories. At least, that's what I gathered after our unspoken conversation.” It's silent as the girls process that.

“I think,” Mel begins slowly, “that one of us should always be with her. To make sure this doesn't happen again and to help reassure her that she's really back.” _And to reassure ourselves,_ she thinks. Macy and Harry nod their agreement. They sit in silence for nearly an hour, glancing at the sleeping young woman now and then, before, one by one, they each fall into the most restful sleep they've had in nearly a month. 

* * *

* * *

_She doesn't know what happened. One minute, she's walking behind her big sister, Mel, on a practically deserted road when her tail falls off. As she's reaching to pick it up, there's a strong arm wrapping tightly around her stomach and then everything goes black. Now she's in a whole new place. Somewhere cold and dark. The small room is barely bigger than a closet and is completely bare of anything except for a tiny, stained mattress. There's only one door and no windows. _

_She calls out for her mommy but there's no answer. Her little cat costume provides very little warmth and she starts to shiver. She stands from where she'd been laying on the mattress and moves to the door. Upon finding it locked, she calls out for her mother again. _

_“Mommy? Mommy are you there?” She cries out a few more times before giving up for the moment. Fighting back tears of fear, little Maggie moves back to the mattress, curling up for warmth. She lays there for while, scared and confused, before she hears the door knob jiggle. She sits up, hoping its her mommy or Mel. _

_Her hopes are dashed as a man in his thirties enters the room. As they stare at each other, his lips spread into a malicious grin that sends a sliver of fear down her spine. He steps closer to her, shoving his hand into his pocket and pulling out a deadly looking knife with etchings carved into the curved blade. She tries to push herself away from him and the knife but hits the wall behind her._

_He laughs at her feeble attempt to get away. “And just where do you think you're going, little witch?” He takes another step. She can see the glee in his cold eyes as she cowers back. “I think you are gonna be my new favorite toy, witch.” With that said, he lunges and she lets out a loud yelp._

_As he reaches her, she kicks out her leg, hitting him in the knee. He curses in pain and sends her a glare that freezes her in place. “You stupid bitch!” He snarls. He lunges again, this time managing to dodge her kick and pins her to the mattress. She's beginning to panic now, feeling his weight start to crush her. She screams for her mother and Mel, knowing that its useless._

_She feels the knife bite into the skin on her arm and lets out another scream, this one born of pain more than fear. Then she sees his fist moving at lightning speed towards her face and everything goes dark._

* * *

* * *

A knee to her back wakes Mel up. As she blinks sleepily, she looks around Maggie's room, taking stock of where everyone is. She can barely make out Harry sprawled out in the wicker chair in the corner. _That looks very uncomfortable,_ she thinks, letting out a soft snort. 

She sits up and turns her head to look for her sisters. She sees Macy curled on her side, facing her, while Maggie is in the middle, her brows furrowed. Mel lays her hand on Maggie's cheek, hoping to put her at ease. Her little sister cries out at the contact. She jerks her hand back as Macy and Harry are startled awake.

Before they can ask any questions, a small child-like voice calls out. “Mommy? Mel? Where are you?” Three pairs of eyes turn to the youngest Vera sister. Maggie calls out in her sleep a few more times before falling silent. Her tossing and turning continues however.

“Should we wake her up?” Macy asks.

“No.” Mel replies softly. “If we wake her up now, in what looks like the middle of her nightmare, then she'll wind up trying to avoid sleep as much as she can, even try to go days without it. And I don't think any of us want to deal with a traumatized _and_ sleep deprived Maggie Vera. The sleep deprivation can be bad enough alone.” She sighs. “As much as I hate it, the best thing to do is to let her wake up on her own and, when it gets bad, try our best to soothe her.” 

Mel truly does hate it, but that's the way its always been with Maggie. She remembers one night when they were younger. She and Maggie had watched a horror movie while Marisol had been out. She had said that the movie hadn't scared her, but that night proved otherwise as she started screaming in her sleep. Mel and Marisol rushed to wake her up. Unfortunately the result had been that Maggie refused to sleep for two days afterwards. 

Macy and Mel shift to make room as Harry moves to settle on the foot of the bed as Maggie begins to whimper. “No! Get off!” Her limbs start to flail as she cries out. Mel starts running her fingers through Maggie's hair, making shushing sounds as Harry runs his hand up and down her leg. Macy rests her palm on her arm as she begins to softly sing a lullaby, one her dad used on her when she used to have nightmares about her mother's death.

**Unfortunately, their efforts are useless as Maggie's struggles increase until, finally, she bolts up in the bed with one last scream of fear. She pants heavily as she stares sightlessly at the wall. Macy feels a movement under her hand and looks down to see Maggie trying to scratch her arm. She grabs her sister's hand, lacing their fingers before Maggie can do any damage.**

“Maggie? Can you hear me?” Mel whispers. There's no answer from the traumatized young woman. She gestures for Macy and Harry to try.

“Mags? Mags, you're safe, okay? There's nothing to be afraid of. Whatever you were dreaming about, it was in the past. Okay? Its over.” Macy says. 

“Yeah, Maggie. You're home. Me and Macy and Harry are all right here. We'll keep you safe.” There's still no response. She silently urges Harry to say something. 

“Maggie,” he pauses, at a loss of what to say. Then he's hit with an idea. He stops moving his hand and tries to reach her telepathically. _Maggie, can you hear me?_

This time there's an answer. _Harry?_ Its faint, but the response relieves him.

_Yes, Maggie. Its me. _

_Harry. Tell her to let me go. Please. I have…I have to…_ Her thought trails off as she feels herself getting sucked back into the memory.

_Maggie? Maggie what do you have to do?_ He curses aloud when she doesn't reply. 

“What? What is it?” Macy asks quickly. 

“She is getting lost in a memory. I think, rather than a plain nightmare, it was her reliving part of the week she was taken. I was barely able to get a glimpse of a man with a knife before she stopped responding,” he explains. Macy feels a slight tug on the hand holding Maggie's.

“Did she say anything before you lost her?” Mel questions. 

His brow furrows. “Yes, she did. She said to, and I quote, ‘tell her to let me go.’”

Confusion passes over Mel's face. “Let her go? What is that supposed to mean?”

“I have no idea. Who am I supposed to tell is what I'm most curious about. Was she talking about you or-" He's cut off by a gasp from Macy. Two pairs of eyes turn to her as she stares at hers and Maggie's interlocked hands with tears in her eyes.

“Macy? What is it? Do you know what she meant?” Mel asks. 

“Yeah. I do.” Her voice waivers. “When she was staring at the wall, she started to try and scratch herself. I stopped her,” she hurriedly adds when Harry and Mel gasp, “I stopped her. But she's been trying to pull away the whole time. I think that's what she meant. She wants me to let her go. So she can-" The _cause herself pain_ goes unsaid. 

Mel recoils. “What do we do? We can't let her hurt herself just to bring her out of it.” Macy and Harry are at a loss.

“One of you might could communicate with her telepathically. Her connection with the two of you is far stronger than the connection with me.” Harry says. Mel and Macy look at each other.

“I think you could reach her more easily, Mel.”

Mel nods. “Let's hope this works,” she mutters, cupping Maggie's cheeks and closing her eyes.

_Maggie? Maggie are you there?_

_Mel._ She doesn't like how weak her response is.

_Yes, Maggie. _

_Mel. Tell her to let me go. Please._

_No, Maggie. Listen to me. Whatever you're seeing, it isn't real. Please Maggie. _

_I can't. You have to tell her to let me go. I can't fight it without the pain. I'm not strong enough. The memories…what I've learned, its too much when I get sucked in. I _need_ the pain._

_Oh, Mags. You _are_ strong enough. _

_I don't know what's real without it. Please, Mel. _

It breaks Mel's heart to hear the despair in her sister's thought.

No,_ Maggie. You _don't_ need the pain. You have me and Macy and Harry. _We_ will help you figure out what is or isn't real. Please, Maggie. You can't keep hurting yourself like this. I know you are scared and I don't blame you. I would be too if it had been me. Seeing you like this makes me wish it was._

The vehemence in her sister's next thought surprises her greatly. No! _I'm glad I was the one pulled in. None of you would have deserved to be there._

_And you did?_ When she receives no answer, she worries that she's getting lost in the memories again. She asks the first thing that pops into her head. _Why do you need the pain?_ Though she knows the most likely reason, but she also knows that to help her sister heal, they have to be one-hundred percent sure. She is, however, very relieved that her sister's thoughts are growing stronger the longer they speak.

_I deserve the punishment for what I've done. Just as I deserved to go to Tartarus._ Maggie's answer is one that both confuses her and sends a wave of pain crashing into Mel. The only plus she can see, is that Mel's pain was enough to pull her sister out. Just before their physical connection is severed, Mel catches one last confusing thought from her sister._ I will_ never _tell her what I remembered from that night_.

Before she can think too much on that, she hears Macy and Harry say Maggie's name. She opens her eyes, lowering her hands as she sees Maggie looking around. 

“Hey Mags. You with us now?” Macy asks her, still holding tightly to her hand. Maggie gives a small nod. Its quiet for a moment before Harry breaks the silence. 

“Do you want to talk about your dream?” Maggie shudders and shakes her head no. “Do you want to go downstairs for a cup of coffee? Or maybe a bit of food?” 

She thinks about it for a second before shaking her head again. “Can we just…stay here?” They hate the hesitation in her words.

“Of course we can. We can do whatever you'd like.” She gives a tiny smile and slowly relaxes back into her pillows. Her sisters press themselves into her sides and Harry settles himself at their feet. They lay like that for hours, each lost in their own thoughts, before finally drifting off, one by one.

* * *

They are all up late the next morning, with Maggie being the last to wake up. As they had decided the night before, Mel stays with her while Macy and Harry go make them all a late breakfast. As Maggie lays curled on her side with Mel curled behind her, Mel thinks about the thought she'd heard from her sister. 

She wishes she knew what she'd meant and what night she'd been thinking about. She doesn't think she can ask her, however, as it was clear Maggie doesn't want her to find out. She debates asking anyway. Something is stopping her though. _I'll bring it up with Harry and Macy. They might have an idea about how to ask,_ she decides. 

There's a knock on the door that causes Maggie to jump slightly. Running a hand through her hair to put her at ease, Mel calls for them to come in and the door opens to admit Harry, who is carrying a tray with two plates of food. He begins speaking as he sets the tray on the edge of the bed.

“Macy had to leave for work. She was running a bit behind today and Dr. Wagner couldn't give her any more time off.”

“At least she was able to give her _some_ time. What about you? You going in today?” Mel asks, nudging Maggie to get her to sit up so she can eat.

“No, I think it would be best if I were to stay here.” He replies, handing them the plates. He watches as Maggie begins to play with the food rather than eat it. “You need me to run to the store for anything since I'll be home?”

Mel is watching her sister as well. “No, I think I'm good. What about you, Mags? Need anything?” She doesn't even look up from her plate of uneaten food as she shakes her head. Mel gives an inaudible sigh as she shares a glance with the whitelighter. “Maggie? You need to eat.”

“I'm sorry. I'm just…not really hungry,” she says as she sets the plate aside. “Can I just take a shower or something? I feel…grimy.” This time, Mel and Harry's shared look is uncertain. 

“Alright. We'll be downstairs when you're done, okay?” Harry says, ignoring the glare thrown his way as Maggie stands up unsteadily. Mel takes a few steps toward her sister, wrapping her arm around her waist and helping her out of the room and down the hall. After helping Maggie get the shower started, she hesitantly leaves her sister alone. She closes the door and goes downstairs to find Harry.

“Are you sure we should be leaving her alone?” are the first words out of her mouth when she finds him in the living room. “I mean, didn't we all agree last night that one of us would be with her at all times?”

“We did, Melanie, but I think, for the moment, she could use a few minutes to herself. If she does anything, we'll be able to tell and I can heal her.” He defends, moving to give her room to sit on the couch.

Mel sighs and sits down heavily, knowing he's right but not liking it. “Fine. You're right. I'm just worried.” 

“As am I. Unfortunately, as much as I would like to, we can't be around her 24/7. We _will_ have to give her time to adjust to being home and to work through what happened. Along the way, we'll just have to hope that she doesn't get lost in the memories.” 

“Oh, that reminds me,” she says, turning to face him, “last night, just before she came out of the memory or whatever, I heard a thought that I don't think I was supposed to hear.”

“What was it?”

“She was thinking that she would ‘never tell her what she remembered from that night.’ I think she was talking about me. And if she was, then I'm not sure I could ask her about it myself.”

“So you want me or Macy to ask?” He clarifies, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. 

“The thought had crossed my mind.”

“I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. I will bring it up to her later. Did you hear anything else?”

“Nothing that wasn't accidental. I did confirm that she's using the pain to bring herself out of the memories. She said it helps her figure out what's real. And,” she continues in a near whisper, with tears gathering in her eyes, “that she thinks she deserved to go to Tartarus.”

Harry chokes at hearing that. “_Deserved to go to Tartarus?!_ Why on _earth_ would she think _that_?!” He exclaims. 

Mel shakes her head, a tear escaping at the movement. “All she said was that she deserved the punishment. And she genuinely believes it.” Harry closes his eyes in sorrow. “We need to know what she saw. So we can help her realize that she never deserved anything like that.”

“And how do you propose we find out? I'm not too sure she'll be willing to share.”

“I don't know. But I have a feeling that, if we don't do anything, it won't matter that we got her out. We could still lose her. Especially if she keeps ‘punishing’ herself.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay.
> 
> I feel like this is a rather crappy chapter so sorry if it sucks.

After a long, cool shower, during which she barely managed to not think about Tartarus, Maggie is drawn upstairs to the attic. She doesn't really know why, but being there brings her comfort. She shuffles to the couch that had been moved there for Harry when the Elders had taken the Book Of Shadows. Before sitting down, she grabs the Book, settling it on her lap. She places her hand on the triquetra, letting out a breath. As she sits there, her thoughts drift to Macy and what she'd learned.

_What happened? Was she attacked by a demon? Or was it a disease or some other illness? And how did mom bring her back?_ She knows that their mother's powers was prophecy. Could she have had another? Charity has multiple powers, did that mean Marisol did as well? Or did she find some other way? Did her being resurrected have anything to do with the ‘darkness’ in her?

Maggie wishes she could talk to her mother about it. She wishes she could ask her if she should tell her and Mel or if she should keep it to herself. _Macy does deserve to know why mom left her,_ she thinks, _but if I tell them that they will want to know how I found out and if I heard anything else, which I did._ She doesn't know how Mel would react to the news about her being the half sister rather than Macy.

She wonders how angry Mel would be if she found out that Maggie was the reason she grew up without her father. _Probably very angry,_ she thinks, recalling her obsession with finding out who killed Marisol and how angry she'd been. _She'll probably wind up hating me. Not like I wouldn't deserve it. I did cost her her father after all,_ she thinks bitterly. She shakes the thoughts of Mel and Ray away and goes back to her dilemma about Macy.

She remembers how heartbroken her mom had sounded when she mentioned the sacrifice. She could imagine the tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke. Her own tears well up just thinking about it and she angrily wipes them away. She still doesn't know what she should do.

She looks down at the book in her lap and opens it, idly flipping the pages. “Don't suppose you could help me make a decision about this, could you?” She startles when she hears a voice in the doorway.

“And what decision would you like help in making?” Harry asks, subtly looking over her bare arms. Thank goodness, he thinks upon seeing only the scorpion venom.

“Harry! Don't sneak up on people like that!” She exclaims, holding a hand to her heart and feeling it racing.

He chuckles lightly. “I apologize, Maggie. I though you might have heard me come in.”

“Its okay. I guess I'm just still adjusting to being back,” she says with a small shrug.

“And how _are_ you adjusting? Not still unsure if you are truly out, are you?”

“No I know I'm out.”

His face brightens at that. “Excellent!”

“Yeah I guess.”

Its quiet for a moment when he asks, “So what decision do you need help making?” She looks at him blankly. “When I came in, you were asking for help on making a decision. Though I wasn't t sure if you were speaking to me or the book. You were staring at it pretty intently.” He cheers internally at her upturned lips.

“Its nothing,” she says, her smile fading, “just something I learned about while I was _there_.”

“Would you like to talk with me about it?” When he sees her hesitation, he adds, “Or if not with me, then perhaps with one or both of your sisters?”

“I don't know. What I found out is something big. And I found out something else too, something that could drive us apart. Well me and Mel, at least.” She feels her eyes fill with tears again, but she doesn't bother to wipe them away this time.

His brow furrows in concern. _What could possibly drive them apart? They've known each other for their whole lives, they've got to be the closest sisters I've seen._ He moves to sit beside her. “Surely it can't be that bad. Your sisters love you, Maggie. So much. Whatever you've found out, I'm sure it will bring you three even closer than before.”

“I cost my sister something, Harry. Something that no one should have to go without. I don't think she'd ever forgive me for it. And while I was finding that out, I found out something about Macy that will hurt Mel even more.” Harry feels his stomach drop at the thought of something happening to Macy. “While I was there, after being shown the memory, I vowed that Mel would never find out. And if I tell them about Macy, they'll want to know everything else I saw in that memory. I don't want to hurt Mel even more than she's already been hurt, but Macy needs to know why mom left her. I just-I don't know what to do, Harry. Do I tell them about Macy, and therefore everything, or do I say nothing, and let her keep thinking that mom didn't want her?” The tears that she'd been keeping at bay stream down her face she breaks down into sobs.

Harry puts his arms around her and pulls her close, rubbing his hand up and down her back, fighting back his own tears. He turns his head to the doorway when he hears footsteps approaching and sees Mel. Her eyes widen when she spots her sister crying her eyes out in Harry's arms and starts towards them. Harry stops her with a shake of his head.

_She's opening up to me, _he mouths_, let me handle this._ She nods reluctantly and leaves the attic. He knows Mel would rather be the one Maggie opens up to, and to be honest, he would prefer that as well-he'd never been good with crying women-but if he'd let her stay he knew Maggie would clam up.

He is insanely curious as to what she's hiding from her sisters and hopes he can get her to tell him. _Maybe then I can talk her into telling them herself._ His mind races at the secrets she is hiding, each idea sounding worse than the one before it. Eventually he's pulled out of his thoughts as he feels Maggie shift.

“Feel better?” Is the first thing he thinks to say.

She snorts. “No. I still don't know what to do, Harry.”

“Why don't you tell me about the memory? I might can help you come to the right conclusion.” He offers, hopefully.

She hesitates, knowing that he'll try to convince her to talk to Mel and Macy regardless of what she says. She knows he'll mean well, but she doesn't know what she'd do if it causes Mel to hate her. And Macy would likely be stuck in the middle since they share a father. _She could wind up hating me too, if only for being put in that position,_ Maggie thinks. She sighs heavily.

“Maggie. Tell me. Please." He pleads softly.

She sighs again and moves to sit cross legged against the arm of the couch so she can face him. “You know Ray left mom when I was five right?” She waits for his nod. “Well in the weeks leading up to him leaving, they fought. A lot. Usually they would start after me and Mel went to bed and it would wake us up. One of us would go to the other's room because they would get so loud and it would scare us. Mostly it was her coming to me,” she says, smiling fondly at the games Mel would invent in an effort to distract them.

Shaking herself, she continues. “The night after my fifth birthday, Mel went to stay the night with a friend. I was woken up by them fighting and had decided to go to Mel's room, since it was farther away and the yelling wouldn't have been so loud. They were in the kitchen and on the way, I heard something shatter. Then their voices grew louder and I could hear what they were saying.” Her voice trails off as she gets lost in the memory.

Harry watches her eyes glaze over and glances at her hands, watching as she seems to subconsciously move her right hand to her left forearm. He grabs both of her hands and twines their fingers. Then he starts to gently speak to her.

“Maggie. Maggie, come back. You're not there anymore. You're not five years old, listening to your parents. You are in the attic, with me, Harry. Come back to me, okay?” As her breathing starts to pick up, he grips her hands tighter and calls to her telepathically.

_Maggie. Maggie its Harry. I need you to slow your breathing. Whatever you're seeing, its in the past. You're in the attic, with me. Come back to me okay? _

He keeps up the stream of thoughts, hoping she can hear him. After several minutes, he debates whether or not he should get Mel. Just as he thinks that, however, Maggie's eyes begin to refocus and she blinks slowly.

“Maggie? You with me?” He gets a slight nod. He gives a small sigh of relief. “Do you want to finish telling me another time? We can go downstairs and get you something to eat.” She shakes her head. His next question slips out before he can stop it. “Do you want to continue?” He receives a nod. “Are you sure? I don't want to push you.” Again her answer is a nod, this one stronger. “Alright. Take your time.”

They sit there, Harry wondering how wise it is to let her continue and Maggie gathering her courage to finish. After a few moments, he is relieved to note that she is no longer breathing heavily. Eventually, she closes her eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it out slowly.

She opens her mouth, with her eyes still closed. “Ray isn't my father.” Harry's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “That's what the fight was about. He found out somehow and confronted mom about it. He was…so angry and hurt about it. That's why he left. He couldn't stand the thought of being a father to a child that wasn't his. So he left, leaving behind his own daughter, because mom had sex with Dexter and had me.” She scoffs bitterly. “If mom had never had sex with Dexter, Mel would still have Ray in her life.”

It takes Harry a minute to get over the shock of her revelation. “But if she hadn't gotten with Dexter again, you wouldn't exist, Maggie. Don't you think Mel would rather have you than her father? Her father, who might have left her and your mother regardless if you weren't born? You said they were fighting long before he actually left. And from the sound of it, he had only just found out about you not being his. Had he not found out, he still could have left the night after your birthday.”

Her brow furrows. She had never though of it that way. Could they have split up had he not found out? Would Mel have still grown up without him? _It doesn't matter, _she thinks_, the could haves and would haves never happened. Mel will still likely hate me if she finds out. _

Harry studies her expression closely, watching as the hope that grew after he spoke fades away. He sighs sadly, knowing that she still thinks Mel will hate her if she were to ever find out. In an effort to distract her, he asks about what she found out about Macy.

“During their fight, when Ray brought them up, saying he thought she was done with them, she told him that he knew the reason she had to leave them. That, if she and Macy were to ever see each other again, one of them would die.” She doesn't want to say anything more, knowing that if she tells him why, it'll only serve to hurt him.

He stops breathing when she says that one of them would die. He has a feeling he knows which one would have been lost. _Why would Marisol risk Macy's safety by bringing her to Hilltowne though? Did she know she would die before she would lay her eyes on her daughter?_ He hates to admit it, but he is glad that everything happened the way it did. He just doesn't know what could be so powerful that it would kill one of them. Silently he urges her to continue.

He can see the pain in her eyes when she does. “At some point, Macy was dead. I don't know what happened, but mom resurrected her. She said something about a sacrifice and that that was why they couldn't see each other again.” Her voice is low and she eyes him carefully, knowing his reaction won't be a good one.

Suddenly, he can't breathe. Her words, Macy was dead, repeat over and over in his head. He wants to yell at Maggie, call her a liar, but he knows, by the pain he can see in her own posture, in the way she's hunching over, that her words are true. The gasp that leaves his lips is ragged and soon he feels tears sliding down his face. He can feel himself begin to shakes as pain tears through him at the mere thought that he and Macy could never have met, that, if Marisol hadn't done what she did, he never would have met the amazing woman who stole his heart.

“M-Macy was dead?” He chokes out.

“Yes. But Harry, she's alive now. Thanks to mom. Okay?” _I knew it was a mistake to tell him. I knew how much he loves her, she berates herself. How do I pull him out of this?_ She racks her mind, trying to think of something that would reassure him of Macy's safety. His phone chimes, indicating he has a message. It gives her an idea.

She reaches in the pocket of his pants, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it to find Macy's number. She snorts at the little red heart beside the contact name and dials. As it begins ringing, she puts it up to Harry's ear, hoping this will work. She can just make out Macy's voice when she answers.

“Hello?” Harry doesn't answer beyond a choked noise. “Harry? Are you okay? Are Maggie and Mel?” The concern in her questions is heard easily. Maggie can see, though, that hearing Macy's voice has already helped calm him. _Damn he has it bad for her,_ she can't help but think. She pulls the phone away from his ear and puts it to her own.

“Hey, Mace.”

“Maggie? Is everything okay? What's wrong with Harry? Is it a demon? Do I need to come home?” She asks rapidly.

“Macy. Macy calm down. Everything is fine. I told Harry something and he kinda panicked. So I did the only thing I could think of to calm him down. I called you.”

On the other end of the phone, confusion swirls through Macy. _Why would calling me calm him down? And so easily?_ She doesn't want to let herself hope but a tiny part of her longs for him to love her just as she loves him. “You called me to calm him down? What made you think that would even work?”

“Just knew it would,” she says matter of factly.

Macy blinks. “Okay,” she says slowly. “What did you tell him anyway? He's always so put together, I didn't think anything could make him panic.”

_When it comes to you, Macy, I think everything poised about him goes out the window._ “I was telling him about one of the memories that was unburied while I was in Tartarus.” Its said quietly, but Macy can still hear the barely there pain in her sister's voice.

“Oh,” is all she can think to say. While she's glad Maggie is opening up about it, she can't help but wish it was to her and Mel, though she has nothing at all against her sharing with Harry. She's curious about what she saw that would make her fall apart like she has.

“Yeah. I'll, uh, I'll let you get back to work now. Sorry for worrying you.”

“It's okay. I'll see you guys when I get home, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Love you guys.” Macy waits for Maggie's quiet ‘love you too' before ending the call.

It's quiet for a while as Harry settles from his small panic attack and Maggie thinks over what she'd told him. She wonders if Mel would have the same reaction if she were to find out about Macy. She doesn't think it would lead to a full blown panic attack like it did with Harry but she knows Mel would freak out at least a little. _Though the only reason he reacted that badly, is because he loves her,_ she thinks.

“Thank you.” Her brow furrows as she turns to Harry, confused. “For confiding in me, about the whole memory. And for helping calm me down. Though I'm not quite sure how you knew hearing her voice would help.” He raises a questioning eyebrow at her.

She laughs sheepishly. “Remember when we initiated you into the sisterhood?” She waits for his somewhat cautious nod. “Yeah so I may have kinda accidentally heard a thought from you that night.”

He tilts his head. “What thought?”

“A thought about Macy?” It comes out as more of a question than a statement. She watches his eyes widen as he realizes that she knows. “I didn't mean to hear it. It was before I learned to control my powers. But after I heard it, I started watching you. I saw the looks that you'd give her when you thought no one was looking and realized that you had it bad for her and I know it was an invasion of privacy but I honestly didn't mean to and please don't be mad.” Her rambling is cut off as he lets out a slightly embarrassed laugh.

“I suppose that explains the feelings of being watched.”

“Yeah. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to hear it.”

“Its alright, Maggie. I guess, in the end, it was a good thing you heard it. You would have more trouble calming me down otherwise.”

“You really aren't mad? Cause when it happened when I touched Macy or Mel, they always got mad, even when it was an accident. But I never meant to do it. I've always been a touchy person and when I touch someone the thoughts and emotions are just there. I react to them because, to me, its like they've been spoken.” She explains.

“No, Maggie. I'm not mad. Like you said, you still didn't have full control yet.” She lets out a small breath of relief and smiles at him.

She wishes Mel and Macy understood that. Even though she does her best to hide it, it hurts when they shy away from her. Even after she learned how to control it they still shy away. Always chastising her, telling her ‘boundaries’ when she simply wants to give them a hug. To go from always having some form of physical contact with someone to suddenly having nothing makes her a bit touch starved. She knows if she told them, they'd stop shying away but they'd still be uncomfortable the entire time.

She understands their position completely. If one of them had been the empath, she'd be uncomfortable with their touch too. _Then again, they aren't all that big on touching people. Not like I am at least. _

“I wish Mel and Macy were so understanding. Going from being able to give Mel a hug to having her shy away practically overnight kind of hurt. I mean, I get it but still.” She looks down at her lap, sighing sadly.

Harry furrows his brow. “Have you talked to them about it?”

“It wouldn't help. Even if I did and they let me touch them again, they would still be uncomfortable.” She shrugs, looking down at the black on her arms, tracing the veins with the fingers on her right hand.

Harry follows her gaze. “I wish I could heal that for you.”

She shrugs again. “It'll go away on its own.”

“Have you decided if you are going to tell them?”

Maggie's quiet for several moments. He lets her think, inwardly hoping that she will. Eventually she heaves out a heavy sigh.

“I will. They deserve to know.” When she raises her head, he can see a sheen of tears in her eyes and his heart aches for her. He pulls her close, pressing a light kiss to her temple.

“All will be well, Maggie. Mel won't be angry at you, nor will she hate you. If anything, she'll be even more mad at Ray. He's the one that willingly left.”

“Because of me,” she chokes out.

“No. I believe he would have left regardless of whether or not you were his daughter. And I know you won't believe it, not for a while at least, but I do. And so will Mel.” He tightens his hold on her as she starts to sob once more.


End file.
